Thursday
May262011

It's a Slippery Slope, Folks

Mrs. G. has always made it clear that she is not a fashionista, is there such a thing as a fashionotta? There should be. Let's just declare it so. So when these "pants" arrived in the mail from a very generous and loving person, Mrs. G. had to sit down and consider, actually visualize, how others in the world see her. And for it to really work and be of any legitimate value, she had to do it sober.

The fact that others in the world see her as someone who would wear PajamaJeans is rattling. Yes, Mrs. G. is into casual, comfort, clogs and cotton, but she has never considered she might inspire others to think she would be down with ditching regular clothing for 'round-the-clock sleepwear or that changing clothes once a day was somehow too much for her. 

Mrs. G. is not even going to try on the PajamaJeans just because they smell flammable. She is not going to try them on because they represent a curb she actively, consciously tries not to fall off--the curb of Reality. As someone prone to depression, the simple act of pulling off a nightgown, showering and putting on some pants that require buttoning is a life force, a signal to her brain that it is time to go somewhere and do something. To mess with this transition from immobile to ambulatory could lead to regrettable circumstances. Mrs. G. might forget to get out of bed day after day, the lack of activity and human contact could lead her to not suspect but know she is the new Assistant District Attorney on Law & Order: SVU. Or worse, her fogged mental state could result in her leaving the house and confirming to her community that, yes, Mrs. G. is a woman at peace wearing PajamaJeans...and will likely be the first in line to wear the inevitable BraBlouse or PantySkirt.

Did you hear that? That was Mrs. G. shutting operation PajamaJeans down, down all the way to Chinatown.

She's not big on standards, but she has two or three.

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Reader Comments (40)

DUDE! Someone bought you PajamaJeans? OMG. I must see them.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJill W

But they have: Style, Comfort, and Value.....

I have watched the infomercial several times and I just wonder what they look like, up close like....

Next thing is the rubber snaps that you can add to the bottom of your pants so you don't need to hem them. But, wait, they can also work to close your blouse. And for the low price of $19.95 you can get two sets.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnother Jessie

I agree with Jill. You can't post this and deprive us of a picture.

And I am not sure what to think of the person who sent them to you. Let's take the high road and say that they thought they were cute and fun and comfy and maybe you would like them as much as she does. Maybe?

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy G. (no relation)

I know exactly what to think of the person who bought these for you. You have more style, class, and fashion sense than them. They deserve your pity and could benefit from your counsel.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJenni in KS

"...just because they smell flammable."

Bwahahahaha! I totally get that.

Pajama jeans: if you have no standards but don't want anyone to know.

I too would like to see them up close.

But I recently encountered a young woman who wore furry, claw-footed slippers to the market. I don't think Americans have standards anymore.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLisse

Holy shit! Really? Someone really sent you a pair?

I have never understood the pajama jeans concept. I mean, I like pajamas, I like jeans......BUT, I don't have an inclination to wear jeans to bed or pajamas to the grocery. Weird.

Maybe it's tiime to renegotiate the friend contract?

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterfluffy

Count me as someone who doesn't see jeans as comfortable lounge-wear. Yeah, they're casual and relaxing to wear when out, but jeans are originally designed to be endurable while performing physical labor. That's why they're denim, and have rivets and double seams.

The last thing I'd want to sleep in is a pair of jeans - unless I were crashing out on a dirty, backstage couch twelve hours into an all-niter loading in a show whose trucks are stranded on the other side of Stevens Pass - which is exactly the conditions last time I slept in jeans.

Now my recent lazy-slut-wear is pajama pants. I confess that I have been known to walk the dog in the early morning wearing pajama pants. I used to draw the line at this until I encountered one of my neighbors doing this - and her pajama pants were actually patterned with pictures of dogs!

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAunt Snow (g)

Mrs. G --
Is there _any_ chance of your TESTING the "smell flammable" theory?

You still have that grill out back, right? It could be a video moment.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterkate in Michigan

You are lucky, Mrs G, you do not live in my faire city..we have so many pajama clad women walking around in their sleepwear in this town...now they are wearing the slippers, too..I can barely stop myself from rolling down the window in the minivan to mock. I dont, my children are with me most of the time..Thank you for not wearing the flammable sleepwear in public. What the fuck? Really...as if we dont have enough of a bad rap here in Abervegas..now we can go to the walmarts in pjs slippers and brassiere-less..it IS a slippery slope..one a few women..and MEN are rushing to here..

In other news, your photo for the Womens Colony on your side bar, the ones with the gals in cedar swim suits..Thats from my Pacific Beach! Im nearly positive..of which, I want you to go to my blog and check out what has happend to ol Lisa as of late..I am still pinching myself! AS IF!!
lotsa love from the beach, you crazy woman. Im so so glad your writing again! smooch...

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterIts Lisa!

Wowwwww. You did the right thing by walking away from those things. They look to me like they are linked directly to the plummeting of self-esteem.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

I say we prove exactly how flammable they are. Maybe you can use them as fuel the next time you want to set diet books on fire.

Though part of me wants to say TTIUWP. (a.k.a. pics or it didn't happen)

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCaro

My 20 year old daughter and I just saw a brief bit of the infomercial for these things a night or two ago and we both agreed on the term "yuuuuuuuuuuck" as a fashion/lifestyle descriptive. Will we ever be that resigned? I hope not ...

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKim F.

No....just no.

Same to the "knit jeans" sold at Coldwater Creek. You're not fooling anyone because they're "jean-styled". If you're going to wear knit pants, wear knit pants, and own the look.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTC

I called my daughter's skinny stretch jeans pajama jeans and she nearly decked me! I would like to see the demographics on who buys (or actually wears) those things!

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBrightside-Susan

Good for you. I had to stop wearing yoga pants because it got to the point that I was wearing them all the time and not even making an effort.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJen on the Edge

@kate: GENIUS. I second that Mrs. G, but not before you model them. Oh please!

I've seen the infomercial for these and they strike terror into my very soul. They just look so shitty, I really have to wonder who would wear them. Plus they just look so unforgiving to anyone, like me, who has bumps and lumps and mile wide thighs.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJessie

My denim jeans double as a girdle of sorts, their sturdy construction confining my middle section to occupy no more than its fair share of space. PajamaJeans would not do this and are therefore not worth wearing.

I, too, require a shower and fresh clothes before my brain understands that I need to DO SOMETHING with my day. Also, shoes...

Jessie, I would show my bare butt before I put those pants AND took a photo of myself in them. It would not be a good look for me--they are basically thick leggings, with weird stitching and fake back pockets.

Like Suburban C, I require more durable support.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. G.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! One of the best Pajama Jean posts I've seen. Run! Run far and fast away from those evil things!

"Fashionotta", you crack me up!

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermaggie

The next step is clothing from Blair. You know, the "affordable" "breezy" "hi-fashion" embroidered monstrosities in the coupon section of the Sunday paper. Run away! Run away!

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVivianne

I ordered a pair for myself. I admit it. I now realize that at the time I was Downrightoutofthisworld-Dee-llusional. Thought maybe I could use them as an interim 'outfit' for running to the mailbox. You know, just until I lose this extra 32lbs - or at least the first 5 or 6 pounds and can comfortably fit back into my size 12s. I even went to the 'simple sizing' chart. Ordered a size M.

I was actually excited when the package came. Ripped those babys open. Thought they were 'cute.' No, really, I did. They did feel a bit creepy. Much like terry cloth baby bib material. Then I thought they'd probably wash up reeeeel nice. Thought maybe I'd even wear them to the grocery, which is where I was headed when the package came. Couldn't get them up over my thighs. COULD NOT HAVE EVEN IF I HAD BATHED IN CRISCO. According to their sizing chart - the one that lists body parts in inches, not the one where you 'pick your pant's size and order in S-M-L' - I am an XXL. A FREAKIN' XXL, not a M. Who is buying this crap? Toddlers? I am fine if I am an XXL, but NOT when the 'simple sizing' chart has me at a M.

Anyway - It all turned out fine in the long run. Got my money back. Spent almost all of it on chocolate and ice cream.

@Vivianne - I have been getting Blair propaganda in the mail since I was about 20. Apparently I'm beginning to suffer Blair Stockholm syndrome. *sigh* Those dickies seem like they would be very nice for work. Please..send...help....

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChristy Lee

Christy-Lee, step away from the dickies! I spent an hour last night trying to work dickies into this post but I couldn't pull it off because I have never owned a dickie. I don't even like saying the word. Call me before you purchase one. You may need an intervention.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. G.

Here Dickies is a brand of workwear. You know - steel toecap boots, rain jackets, fleece jackets that sort of thing. In terms of clothing what the hell is it in the US?

May 27, 2011 | Unregistered Commentertrash

Trash, a dickie in the US is the neck of a turtleneck you wear below a sweater or blouse. That's it, no arms or bodice just the neck. Wear the name dickie comes from I can't say.

May 27, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLeigh

I hate to have to visualize anything sober! It's a downer.

May 27, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterT.

i think the person who sent them to you loves you. and knows you would love this gift. i further suggest that you do love them. because they are sooo.....bizarre. i see pajamajeans as the same thing as scrubs.

my daughter is 13. she loves her "jeggings." do they call them that where you live? those gross leggings with jean like stitches painted on them? my daughter would LOVE pajamajeans. she would never take them off. she would wear them for weeks on end. she would wear them in the shower.

why are the fashions from the 80's returning? i always thought that was a fashion zone that would never resurface. once again, i was wrong.



oh, and i didn't send you the pajamajeans.

May 27, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteramy

Now see? I'm thinking there might be a market for these in tornado alley. When you are dead damn tired and want to go to bed, but the watches and warnings are still overlapping each other and you're pretty sure you don't want to wake up in the potential rubble in your normal (ahem) (perhaps lack thereof) sleeping attire. Do they have pockets? Because I usually doze through those kinds of nights with loaded pockets. Wallet, cell phone, computer back-up flash stick, keys, small flashlight, whistle, and pocket knife.

May 27, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteranother sue

fashionotta?

I love you, Mrs. G.

May 27, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterkcinnova

Again you crack me up. Yes pajama jeans are just plain wrong. My son and his wife and I performed a little pajama jean skit the last time I was at their house and we laughed so hard we nearly wet ourselves. Even my son knows they're creepy. There are so many regular jeans out there with a little stretch in them to assist with holding in one's extra assets, why on earth would a person resort to wearing something that would make any normal person look like 100 pounds ot lumpy sausage stuffed into a "denim" casing? Now, just return the favor to the person who got them for you by sending them a new dickie in every color of the rainbow. Love you to pieces!

May 27, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersheryl

@Mrs. G-Bahahahaha! Maybe they should just go in the fire.

May 27, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJessie

No offense to the nice person who sent you these things, but...I have one word for you: Bonfire.

May 27, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteraaryn b.

Don't you have any books to burn? Lets test that flammable smell out! Roast some marshmellows! Don't forget to video tape it!

May 27, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLizzie

I am glad that one of your three standards includes not wearing flammable pants. Good call, sister!

May 27, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjanie

What is happening to our country? We have toilet paper advertised by bears as making it easier to wipe, foot cleaners to prevent us from bending and PajamaJeans. Thank you for taking a stand. Sausage casing is right!

May 27, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterShell

So... I guess it's a bad sign if my first thought was, "Ooh, I'll take them off your hands!"

I almost turned down going out with a friend the other day, because it meant I would need to put on "real" clothes. I laughed and laughed when I caught that thought, because: Good lord, what am I turning into? Is it bad that I think, "Well, I'm not as bad as People of Wal-Mart!"? I also don't own, nor plan to own, a dicky. Hey, wow! I have standards, too!

Oy.

May 27, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDharmamama

That "kind person" was clearly deluded. Your loyal readers know where you stand and where you draw that line in the sand. After all, we were able to read Miss G's hilarious post on Snuggies and not assume that the entire G Clan paraded around the Pacific Northwest dressed as Wizards.

May 27, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLisa Paul

Pajama Jeans need to come with a warning: Wearing these pants in public will likely result in a picture of your big ass on PeopleofWalmart.com.

May 27, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterphd in yogurtry

Would it help at all for me to say you have my deepest sympathies?!!! And secondly...burn baby burn!

May 28, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbramble

send them to me. I work from home. I will wear them for a week solid.

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMary Ann

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