Three Februaries ago, Mrs. G. watched a marathon session of HBO's Big Love and wondered if the premise of this show would work if the roles were reversed. Mrs. G. wondered if viewers and critics would respond as enthusiastically to a show about one woman with three husbands. A show, for instance, called...
The world seemed ready for a show about Mrs. G and the three hot husbands who serve her every need. HBO, call her.
In the last episode, Mrs. G. and her husbands dealt with Brad falling in love with a "human" life-sized doll named Annalina.
Brad had to go through intensive therapy because Annaline was "beguiling" him to abandon his seven children with her come hither eyes. Annalina ultimately left Brad and "ran" away with...
the Manny. The 1% are right. It really is hard to keep good help.
Due to tough economic times, Mrs. G. and her husbands decided to soldier on without a nanny and let Brad raise his own children for a while.
It was a harder job than he thought, but he realized he needed to suck it up since he had forced the family to incorporate a "human" life-sized doll in their home for several months. Brad also came to appreciate why new mothers often live in robes for months at a time.
Lucky for Mrs. G, George was more than willing to step up to the plate and work a little harder to help cover Brad's usual chores: brushing Mrs. G's hair, rubbing Mrs. G's feet, doing Mrs. G's laundry...and such.
New York continued to be the perfect home and Mrs. G's plus sized lingerie store was going gangbusters.
In fact the shop was doing so well, Mrs. G. opened up a plus sized clothing shop right next to it.
The only dark spot in Mrs. G. and her husbands' lives was Matt spending his second month in the hospital, recovering from a mauling from a what he thought was a retired circus lion but turned out to be an active duty Bengal tiger. They are both healing nicely.
So life was rolling along swimmingly when the doorbell rang unexpectedly one afternoon.
Mrs. G. immediately invited them inside and George went in the kitchen to rustle up some hot tea and cookies. Big Bird and Snuffy were in a state. "We don't even know this Mitt Romney," Big Bird cried, "but he wants to off us and we are on the run!" Snuffy just stood beside his best friend shaking his head and silently muttering, "We're puppets for Christ's sake. Puppets. They want to take away our home and our Medicare. We're puppets!" George assured them both that he had grown up watching Sesame Street and that as long as he had a home, they had a home. Mrs. G. agreed even though she was more a fan of Zoom.
"There's just one more thing," said Big Bird sheepishly as the doorbell rang again.
Mrs. G. opened it to find a small line of haggard folk.
"I don't have anywhere else to go," Oscar grouched. "Romney says I'm a moocher, and I should pull myself up by my bootstraps, but there's only one problem: I DON'T HAVE ANY FEET!"
"They say our love is unnatural but after 30 years together, we have no complaints," Ernie sighed.
"If Romney cuts Obamacare, me have no insurance because of me pre-existing condition. Me no want to die."
"That's it!" George yelled. "This Ken Doll, blue blooded, silk stocking is messing with the wrong Democrat. Everybody stay put and I'm going to see what I can do to stop this madness."
George flew to Washington to discuss the matter with a good friend. They talked strategies and solutions.
George and President Obama decided the Sesame Street gang should hide out at Mrs. G's house until the election was over and common sense ruled the nation once more. After which, President Obama would secure the whopping $227 necessary to keep PBS funded.
"Sesame Street is 30 years old. Maybe it's time for some infrastructure improvement. That would create some new jobs. Maybe we could sell that to the Congress," said the President.
"Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha," they both howled.
"Good one," said George.
"I try," said President Obama.
George flew back home and shared the good news.
The Sesame Street gang breathed a sigh of relief.
Children all over the world rejoiced.
Mothers everywhere praised God they would get at least one hour a day to themselves.
The kids loved their new house mates and Brad was grateful for a little me time.
It was a win win.
Elmo found work as an underemployed Wal-Mart greeter with no benefits.
Bert and Ernie opened up a Bed & Breakfast on Fire Island. Under New York law, they finally tied the knot.
The count went to work at the National Treasury Department because he can actually count.
And everyone made the best of it until November 6th, 2012.
On November 7th, Big Bird and his pals moved back home and the whole crazy, idiotic, partisan bullshit nightmare was over.
War, unemployment, 16 trillion dollar deficit, millions without health care, a war on women, children going to bed hungry, struggling teachers and school systems, skyrocketing college tuition prices, loopholes for the wealthiest Americans and this is what you bring up at the first debate?