The Sky is Falling
Saturday, October 6, 2012 at 11:02AM Mrs. G. Yesterday, Mrs. G. pulled into a crowded grocery store parking lot, hoping the parking gods would be good to her. She cruised around the lot for a few minutes and finally saw a car pulling out. She pulled up safely behind the driver and waited.
As Mrs. G. tolerantly waited for the man to pull out of the spot, this happened...
A woman sped across the parking lot and took the space Mrs. G. had been waiting for for at least five minutes.
Mrs G. didn't lose it, but she stayed put, a few feet from the woman's car. Mrs. G. turned off her engine. She wasn't going anywhere.
The parking spot thief didn't get out of her car. She sat there for at least ten minutes, and Mrs. G. is fairly certain the woman was afraid to get out of her car and was waiting Mrs. G. out, figuring Mrs. G. would lose interest and go find another spot.
Mrs. G. just sat there. She was perfectly calm.
When the woman finally got out of her car, Mrs. G. rolled down her window and said, "Did you not notice me sitting her for five minutes waiting for this parking spot?"
Tight lipped, the woman responded, "No, I didn't. I didn't see your name on it."
Mrs. G, still unruffled, asked, "Are you familiar with humanity? Do you understand civilization?
Confused, wary, the woman said, "Look, do you want this spot? I'll move."
Mrs. G. shook her head and drove away to find another parking place.
Perhaps it's Mrs. G's age or life experience, but some days she feels like society is declining, devolving -- as if the buttons holding the world's fabric together are popping off one by one.
She has always held that it is the simple things that can buttress a civilized society: taking the grocery cart back to the front of the store; smiling at people you pass; holding the door open for the person behind you; being kind to children; helping a fellow flyer jam his bag into the crowded overhead storage compartment; treating cashiers with respect; Helping a short person reach the top shelf; buying a financially strapped friend a beer; putting your phone away when visiting with friends -- these little things keep us loosely laced together, comfortably united.
All of these seemingly insignificant acts that keep us bound and fastened take seconds. And yet when they are abandoned or ignored, the seconds, fast forwarded, add up to years. And these years can make the world feel wobbly, apathetic, like the sky could fall as quietly as an unmoored circus tent.
The solution is easy and free: be nice. Or if that's a stretch, be nicer.
Reader Comments (41)
Amen. It is one of the big rules. Be nice. Don't panic. Always carry a towel.
TOWANDAAAA!!!!!!
(I'm surprised you didn't go all Kathy Bates from Fried Green Tomatoes on her! Was her car bigger than yours?) : )
Re. civility - I'm glad you stood up for yourself and yes, it is sorely lacking these days. Some call it entitlement mentality - I just call it selfish!
ox
Well said, Mrs. G., well said.
Amen and amen.
I could use that beer you just mentioned, Mrs G... ;)
Well said. It is the little things that hold us together. I love your writing! Delurking to say so.
"All of these seemingly insignificant acts that keep us bound and fastened take seconds. And yet when they are abandoned or ignored, the seconds, fast forwarded, add up to years. And these years can make the world feel wobbly, apathetic, like the sky could fall as quietly as an unmoored circus tent."
Nice.
It sometimes seems we are sooooo busy and soooo constantly multi-tasking we have forgotten there are people around us. People who have become a distraction from what seems soooo important!!!!
You know, that ten minutes birthed a wonderful post, and the impatience and shock and downright GRRRR that you must have felt---I'll take some of that and share it, just for the privilege of reading this. The image of a circus tent settling softly to earth is absolutely perfect.
I have your exquisite "snapped and zipped" post written in one of my journals, and always enjoy reading it again.
TOWANDA!
rachel
I'm right there with you Mrs. G. So I too am waiting patiently for a spot to open when the woman in the next spot over unloads her groceries and pushes her cart into the spot that had just emptied so I couldn't get in without getting out of my car and moving her cart. Just as patiently I get out and go to move her cart. What do I notice but there is a nice looking cantaloupe on the bottom rack which she has obviously forgotten in her haste to make my day a little more difficult. By this time she is backing out of her space and looks over at me. I point down at her cart thinking to gesture to the forgotten cantaloupe, and lo and behold--wait for it--she gives me the finger and speeds off. "Fine," I think, and I pick up her cantaloupe and place it neatly in the back of my car, put her cart in the cart parking space, park, and go into the store. I smiled to myself all afternoon thinking about her wondering where that darn cantaloupe was that she knew she bought and then remembering me pointing to her cart. And, of course, the cantaloupe was delicious. Probably the best cantaloupe I've ever had.
The finger for a delicious, juicy cantaloupe? You got the best end of that deal, Meredith!
Good for you, Mrs. G., for not losing your cool. Irrational tantrums and flipping the bird are just another symptom of devolution (great word!).
so very true, so beautifully said. kindness. simple, it is. and meredith? awesome!
Mrs. G. so, so agree with this post. And it made me laugh.
I have said for years that common courtesy has declined. I call it the Walmart effect. Walmart attracts harried parents who let their kids go wild in the store. Kids go wild in the store, are never taught to say excuse me when they run into other Walmart shoppers. other Walmart shoppers get angry over the lack of discipline of kids in Walmart so they stop holding doors open or being polite to the cashier. The cashier wonders why people are so rude to her all day, she goes to the grocery store, ( in a hurry because she too is a harried Mother) and swipes your parking spot. It goes on and on like a little earthquake of inconsideratness ( not a word I think but it works). Then that circus tent you speak of drifts down on all of us. Yep, I blame Walmart, or cell phones and texting, but that's for another day.
Meridith: love the cantaloupe story, such sweet revenge.
Not only do I try to do all those nice things I'm raising my son the same way. He holds the door, says please and thank you and is becoming a polite teenager. I may not have a paying job or do something memorable or remarkable but I'm going to raise a great kid and for me, that's just fine.
Can I add that I might be a little touchy about not "doing anything important" with my life.
Jean, what could be more important than raising a loving, kind, compassionate son?
Meredith, the cantaloupe story was great.
Mrs. G, I've been there and it is very annoying. You know that skank knew exactly what she had done. Let's hope she'll think twice about pulling a stunt like that again. Good job making a point, yet keeping your cool.
Amen, to the max.
I raised my children to honour those little courtesies which keep civilisation from devolving too.
...though I do find it hysterical when the 17 year old gets all judgemental about peoples manners.
"Do they not know?!...Did no one ever tell them?!"
Probably not, sadly.
I had to google Towanda. I hate to be out of the loop:)
Wow! I admire your ability to stand by your guns and not get all heated about it! I agree, we just don't do enough of the niceties in life anymore. When I walk down the halls at school, I make a point of making eye contact and giving a nod or at least saying hi to people. A smile on the face is the easiest place to start.
Meredith, I won't ever look at a cantaloupe again without thinking the word, "justice".
Agree with you, Mrs. G, except when she offered to move her car and let you have the space, you should have smiled sweetly and said,
"Why, yes, that would be very nice. Thank you for offering."
Natural consequences, Mrs. G. Wonder if she really would have moved her car?
People can be so unbelievably rude. I love the cantaloupe story. It is so easy just to be nice to people. I remember some tv show saying "We are try to have a society here, people." Good for you for saying something to that rude woman!
I was totally thinking TOWANDA!!!
But don't get me started on overhead compartments and the stupid-ass people who want to shove their 70-pound carry-ons in even though the bin is full. No, I don't help them.
Yo! Meredith, as another Meredith- great story.
Heather- how often do we go through a day just wondering how we cam get from a to b without meeting c head on.
I went to the grocery today and had two cars pull out in front of me- one that I almost hit. Toot-toot buddy get the heck out of the way.
My mother taught me to walk on the right, step aside to allow others t0 pass, hold doors and say hello.
The world is better with kindness.
That lady is lucky you did not go ape sh*t on her.
I'll take that beer now.
We all are kindred souls. I, too, believe in little civilities, and require them of my children. I am saddened (and pleased) when people comment on how polite my kids are just because they automagically use please and thank you.
Another aghast reader here. It's probably better that you found a different parking spot (people who are that selfish and rude are probably not to be trusted with knowing exactly where you are parked). We can hope that the same karma that gave Meredith a cantaloupe will come back to bite this other ugly personality.
I, too, have tried to teach my kids manners (even if I still have to remind the youngest to say thank you a little too often).
It's easy to be selfish and self-centered, but it really isn't much work at all -- and a whole lot more pleasant! -- to be kind.
Keep on keeping on, Mrs. G! (And good for you, not losing your temper!)
I agree 100%!! It is just tittle things that make us a civilized society and seems like more and more of us are forgetting that. And unfortunately all those rude adults are raising equally rude children. Like you said, it just takes a few seconds. A simple thank you, putting your cart away, holding the door for someone, being patient when waiting in line, etc.etc. Just think how much better this world would be if we all treated each other with a bit more kindness.
Unfortunately, I think we are probably preaching to the choir on this one.
The Dalai Lama said it best, "My religion is kindness."
Meredith's canteloupe story fits right in here. Couldn't agree with you more, Mrs. G, though you say it so much more eloquently than I ever could. The circus tent imagery .... perfect
I love Mrs. G's and Meredith's stories, both! You know that woman really DID see Mrs. G and really DID make a conscious decision to swipe the parking place. Let's hope that her encounter made her think twice the next time.
I want to tentatively raise another aspect of this scenario, though, while risking potential brickbats - that of the parking-space waiter who blocks the flow of traffic while waiting.
I am an outer row parker - I go to the outer rows and find an open space there instead of cruising the near-in rows. My husband likes to cruise near-in rows, and inevitably, we find ourselves idling behind someone who is blocking the lane of traffic while waiting for someone to unload their cart. While they wait, other drivers are standing idle, unable to move on to find another spot or - in many cases - exit the lot after having left open their parking space.
I am sure Mrs. G left plenty of room for other cars to go around her while she waited - but let's not forget that sometimes and in some conditions, it's equally rude to stop and wait, instead of moving on to find a more distant spot.
Right On, Mrs. G!!!
as a shortie, I appreciate your willingness to help :)
Seriously though, you handled this much better than I would have. I get so irritated with people who don't act with simple courtesy.
My beau has always said those people experience instant karma - they are instant a**h∞les. I've tended to ask if their mamas know they behave that way. The other thing that ticks me off: well-bodied people parking in handicap spaces. Sometimes I leave a note which reads, "People missing body parts and in pain NEED these spaces. I hope you never have this need." I don't know if it stops them, but I hope at least they feel some guilt. Good on you for using that a teaching moment instead of escalating it - a hard but admirable action.
Meredith, I love that story.
Jean, just because someone works outside of the house does not mean something meaningful is happening. My bro stays home to take care of their five (5!) boys because it's cheaper than paying for care were he at a job. Raising children to be kind and decent does a lot more for us than answering a phone and typing. Why you being so hard on yourself? Only your own belief gives power to that. What do you want to do instead? When can you start doing it? What can you do now to lessen that insecurity - shut someone else up, volunteer somewhere, accept being a mom is a positive - I don't know, but figure it out so no one can use it against you (including yourself).
Hear hear! "Situational awareness" is a term I'm hearing a lot lately, and it seems that a lot of people don't have it.
Meredith, I love your cantaloupe story.
Agree totally, Mrs. G. Society is slowly becoming uncivilized and disconnected. I'm trying to figure out how to handle visitors to my home who take phone calls and then carry on a conversation in front of me, or sit and text while talking to me, without pushing them away. I'm considering saying "don't let me interrupt you", and then getting up to do some housework. Vacuuming should work. I also run into this at work, and the biggest offender is my friend/boss, who takes personal calls, texts and ims while I'm trying to discuss work issues.
Ilyanna---AUTOMAGICALLY!! What a wonderful word---wish I'd thought of it. I hope to use that soon.
And Martha---I love the "tittle" in your comment, for I've always been fond of "jot and tittle" to express tee-ninecy amounts. What an apt, lovely typo.
I just remembered a "cantaloupe" story of my own---don't we all have one of those? I'm sure there's many a Cantaloupe Story out there. Maybe Mrs. G will make that a question soon.
Many years ago, I was driving along behind a snazzy car with those immense, shiny spoke hubcap covers that probably cost more than my car. One of them suddenly bounced off, narrowly missed me, and I watched in my mirror as it rolled quickly behind me down the highway, disappearing neatly over the side into a big ditch.
At the next light, I pulled up beside the car, rolled down the passenger window, and said "You lost a hubcap," to the young man driving. He and his young lady passenger looked over at me, then he bent his index finger and pantomimed ramming his finger up his nose, waggling his hand as he made an awful face. They drove away laughing, and then so did I.
Agree. Love it. Preach it!
The cantaloupe story, the best. I have been there Mrs G.
Couldn't agree more and I have made it a point to teach my kids to be kind and aware of what is going on around them - rather than being so self-involved.
I appreciate the way you spoke to the woman, too. I am going to use those lines myself. I had a woman in Costco cut in front of me in line in a really rude way, and she was wearing a WWJD lanyard. Iooked at her and asked if that was the behaviour she learned from Jesus. She was non-plussed, but her older mother who was with her was very upset and apologetic. Later I felt kind of bad about having said that -but the irony was just too much and it won out over kindness in that moment.
I love this. Don't be nice because other people are, be nice because you are. Easy at that. All those things we learned in kindergarden still apply.
Rude is rude. Like stupid, it cannot be fixed.
Happy Monday to all Derfs! I hope your weekend was terrific.
Well played Mrs. G.
She KNEW. That's why she didn't leave her car. Funny you posted this--Wisconsin's a pretty friendly and decent state, but the other morning at church I had to park FAR away because these people were standing on 3 cherry parking spots just talking between services as traffic flowed around them, unable to pull in while they carried on their conversation and let their kids play tag around them in the parking lot. WTF?
Nicely done! And it's nice to know I'm not the only one who believes being nice is important.
I saw this on the evil Pinterest: Welcome to the Karma Cafe - there is no menu, you will get served what you deserve! Kind of made me laugh when Meredith told the cantelope story! That woman got instant karma.....and Meredith got the wonderful karma!!! :-)