she will not buy halloween candy yet. she will not buy halloween candy yet. she will not buy halloween candy yet.
Sunday, October 7, 2012 at 1:34PM Mrs. G. Mrs. G. joined Weight Watchers a week ago and decided to go all the way with the program and actually attend meetings. She went to her second meeting on Tuesday and she can't tell you she enjoyed it. The meeting room was painted an industrial green and the metal folding chairs were an uncomfortable reminder of how some asses fit better in chairs than others. It was difficult to concentrate with the smell deep fried egg rolls and Kung Pao chicken drifting through the vents from the Chinese restaurant next door. And yet Mrs. G. and 23 other people showed up and weighed in, resigned to spend the next half hour regenerating resolve and celebrating the victory of a pound or two lost. This week Mrs. G's WW leader focused the discussion on trigger foods, and the group took turns discussing foods that lured them to the dark side: ice cream, chips, french fries, peanut butter, candy. Nearly everyone agreed that their love for these trigger foods was a holdover from childhood and old patterns, and the leader suggested it might be helpful to journal about earlier feelings regarding food and it's impact on personal happiness. As is often the case when asked to do any sort of therapeutic self reflection, Mrs. G. skipped the therapeutic self reflection and went straight to the glorious memories of the food of her youth. And, reader, they are good ones.
Like these lacquer sugar coated peanuts...
or the southern delicacy known as potted meat. Mixed with a dab of mayonnaise and relish, a Deviled Ham sandwich was a big deal in Mrs. G's house -- a real cut above peanut butter. Mrs. G remembers asking her mother what Deviled Ham was made of. When her mother matter-of-factly told her animal lips, Mrs. G. really didn't bat an eye. It was a more innocent time.
Mrs. G. would ride her purple bike with the flowered banana seat two miles to the 7-11 to get a package of this stuff. While she loved the tang of the fruit flavored powder, the real draw for her was the vanilla flavored chalk dipping sticks. She usually ate one stick right away to quell her uncontrollable urge to stuff them them both in her mouth as quickly as possible. When both sticks were consumed, Mrs. G. would go back in to the convenience store and buy a pack of smokes for her mom, who would send Mrs. G. with signed note to present to the store clerk in case he had a moral dilemma selling cigarettes to a ten-year-old. He didn't. Again, more innocent time.
Mrs. G's grandfather would often bring her one of these when he came to visit. Mrs. G. enjoyed its crunchy peanut butter wrapped in toasted coconut taste and appreciated the candy bar's texture which was akin to a termite ridden, rotten log- flaky, crumbly and delicious.
Just the notion of a white candy bar was enough to dazzle Mrs. G, but the Zero's combination of caramel, peanut and almond nougat covered with a layer of white fudge just plain blew her mind.
If you needed to pull out a filling for any reason, all you had to bite one of these really hard. Mrs. G. knows Now and Laters are still sold but they are a namby pamby version and lack the original recipe's dental destroying power.
If you needed to pull out a tooth for any reason, this baby was the answer.
Nearly every morning Mrs. G. had a glass or two of this. She would sip it from a coffee cup to feel grown up. Mrs. G's grandmother bought Tang because it was healthy and not because, as she would tell anyone who had ears, it was the drink of astronauts. Mrs. G's grandmother wasn't a real believer in funding anything space travel. She felt strongly there was plenty to do right here on God's green earth for Christ's sake. Jesus.
On a hot Memphis day, nothing soothed Mrs. G more than an icy bottle of this. She perfected popping off its top with a tree trunk and some elbow grease. A cold orange Fanta was a close second.
Ahh, childhood and all it's attending superbness is, thankfully, a world or two away from the rigidity of calculating calories and settling one's ass in a metal folding chair to discuss accountability and self-control. Thank God for memories.
Reader, put it out there. What was your childhood food/candy of choice?
Back in the Day
Reader Comments (68)
I was not a kid who enjoyed sweets, I liked raw veggies, I scraped the frosting off my cake, I was a proponent of unsweetened tea in high school.
But before I sound too goody goody....
My little town for a while had a tiny general store that still had penny candy in glass jars. Every now and then I would splurge on a bon-a-fide pack of candy cigarettes (can't start training too soon! 11 will be here before you know it!), but the all time favorite was Swedish Fish and Gummy Worms. I used to bite the gummy worms in half and stick them to my lips until I looked like an alien.
The penny candy shelf motivated us dusty urchins to comb every car, purse, dirt floor, old forgotten coat, any place where a coin might be hiding. It had real street value.
I still have a terrible, horrible weakness for gummy candy of all kinds. I can put away an embarrassing amount. I am considering buying sugar free gummy candy online so I have a better splurge option.
Fun Dip, eaten the same order as you! Eaten in the backyard because it and Nerds were forbidden in the house, due to the mess I'd made on prior occasions.
Dr. Pepper drunk through Red Vines was camping food.
That gum shaped like cigarettes!
Golden Grain Mac & Cheese (the cheap-o kind). Oh, nirvana. I like it soupy.
Strawberry Laffy Taffy. If you hit it hard enough, it will shatter, then kind of melt.
We used to drink Canfield's soda until we all got canker sores from all the acid in them. But GRAPE Canfield's? Brings me back to the tree house with the PVC "fireman pole' that was terrible to slide down because it just got HOT on our hands. We tried baby powder, vaseline, water, you name it.
Ooooh, Pixie Stix. Straight sugar, straight down the gullet.
Congrats on Weight Watchers! My mother and I am joining together next week!
As a kid I LOVED candy cigarettes and big league chew. Apparently I was all about the fake tobacco products.
Confession: I was once a SLAVE to grape Nehi.
Good 'n Plenty. For good girls who wanted to eat plenty. My grandfather's candy drawer. And, walking to the fire station with my little brother, and buying a 10 cent soda. An early introduction to mixing sugar and beef cake.
Well it's about time you did something about your weight.
Good Luck on WW. I lost 35 pounds the last time I went.
Candy? Fireballs and Tootsie Roll Pops.
Food? Fluffernutter (is that a New England thing?) Marshmallow Fluff and PB sandwich on Wonder Bread. My sister and I would also make Fried Bologna and Mayo Sandwiches.
I do like Weight Watchers, but I think those meetings where they encourage you to talk about your food triggers is ill-advised. And our Weight Watchers office, while very nice and newly remodeled, is located between a pastry shop and a pizzeria.
Bought my Halloween candy today. Trying desperately to avoid its siren call...
I am currently working with Squarespace to password protect the blog. It's going to take a few hours, maybe a day. I will let everyone interested know the details. I'm a small time blogger who writes for pleasure, not profit and I'm over the insulting comments. They used to be so rare and now they are frequent and I just don't feel like putting up with them anymore. It's begun to affect what I write about.
OK, I am about to send the gross-o-meter through the roof...
During junior high, I luvvvvvvved Velveeta dipped in Miracle Whip. Or a nice Velveeta sandwich: white bread slathered with Miracle Whip and layered with nice, thick slices of Velveeta.
I know. I just grossed myself out, too.
I dreamed of anything Hostess because individually-packaged, "store-bought" desserts generally weren't allowed in our house. I was jealous of J.T. Warmbier every day because he always had cellophane-wrapped Hostess desserts in his lunch. I think now it was more about the budget than the nutritional value but we ate homemade treats most of the time. Hostess has changed their recipes and those things aren't really appealing anymore. Oh, original Suzy-Q's, how I miss you!
I snuck a lot of potato chips (still a major weakness).
As for candy:
Zero (reminds me of the swimming pool)
5th Avenue
$100,000 Bar
candy cigars
Sugar Babies
those little wax bottles filled with flavored sugar syrup
Sweet & Sour Charms pops - might be my favorite straight-up sugar item
Little Debbie Snack Cakes, which are known in my house as Little Debbie Crack Cakes because of their addictive powers.
Fuck the haters!!!
Anything sour was my downfall. still is. My favorite were Fizzz candies that were filled with a sweet bicarb powder that foamed when your saliva touched it.
This message is for Sasha. Fuck Off. Seriously. Get the hell off of this blog. We don't need you and your petty attitude blowing it for the rest of us. I, for one, love that Mrs. G feels open to sharing a whole heckuva lot more on her blog than I would ever share on mine. That's one of the things that makes her blog so wonderful. It's full of honesty, candor and humor. Speaking of humor, borrow a nickel and go buy a sense of humor. You obviously lack one.
Shut it, Sasha. Leave the Manor -- love and sarcasm rule here. There's no room for just plain meanies.
Oh, Zagnuts. Delicious, decrepit, coconut loggy-ness . . . Discovered them just a year ago, and had to swear off really fast!
Here's hoping that WW helps you in the best way possible, Mrs. G!
Why must some people be mean and cruel? I suppose they must be so insecure or jealous. Jealousy makes people spiteful and spiteful people are jealous...I can't remember where I just heard that, but obviously people like Sasha need help in learning social graces and general humanity. Your blog makes me laugh out loud every time and I so look forward to reading it.
Favorite candy was Good n Plenty and Fireballs, though i also like those dots (?) that were stuck on long sheets of paper. My sister and I used to get home before our Mom and we would make ourselves pizza on english muffins using ketchup and cheese, then we'd raid the deep freeze and take out the hostess cupcukes so we could eat the frosting off, and the hard white filling. There would never be any left for our treat at lunch!
Big Hugs to you Mrs G!!
3 musketeers bars, but you have to eat the outside coating off and then you can eat the nougat.
From summer days at the pool...frozen Snickers. (Now THERE'S a filling puller for you: frozen caramel.)
...and basically ANYTHING with sugar in it. Yes, I need a twelve step program.
Oh, for Halloween I could eat a ton of candy corn. Nasty stuff, I know, but I loved it.
Thanks for the meander down memory lane, Mrs. G.
and ps we got sent to the local store too, to get an ice cream sandwich and pack of cigarettes, it was a simpler time, our stores in NH had no moral dilemma selling the cigs to us kids, of course they also knew who are parents were.
My parents bought almost zero junk food. Not because of any health consciousness. They were just thrifty. The only treats we had were a half gallon of store-brand vanilla ice cream in the freezer, and miniature marshmallows. So I would sprinkle table sugar on a bowl of ice cream. Yum!
That was uncalled for.
I loved Dots. Mmm, still do.
Good luck w/ WW - when I did it, I lost 20 pounds.
I had a serious sweet tooth when I was young... sweet tarts, pixie stix, and smarties.... Usually my Halloween stash is smarties.
Sorry about the need to password protect. I guess the manor needs a lock. Or a key-code.
Love ya! xo
Too late!! I keep jars of Brach's candy corn on my desk at school. Yes...I know...it's pure "white death" sugar. Back in the day, I think anything chocolate was wonderful. There used to be a neighbor on my childhood who worked for M&M/Mars. He brought home BAGS of chocolate candy. I wanted to live at his house!
Lime Co-Colas (Coca-Cola for non-southerners). Artichoke leaves dripping with butter or hollandaise sauce. Raspberry thumbprint cookies. Almost anything from Rhodes Bakery.
Also, my mom had a dog named Sasha, a blindingly white cocker spaniel who had been neglected. The first time she walked into our house she slowly advanced in itty-bitty circles. Over time the circles increased, but never enough. Her brain was hard-wired to small areas; so sad. She had a mean streak too. We could be petting her and she'd turn on you, though everyone thought she was just the cutest dog, with that white curly hair, so unusual. Mom had to breed her, unfortunately. She had three puppies. One was a natural pointer and a throw back to real cockers. The other two, well, one had her hair and brain, and the last unfortunate had that too and less. We were told to put him down but we were kids. His hair did not curl; it stuck straight out. There was a reason for his name, Nubs. He had four legs but only three feet. He wander around shaking that little nub at us. We could never house train him, but that might have been partially because Sasha was impossible to house train too. He and his mom were always together, and would attempt to attack the others. One day Sasha and poor Nubs went by themselves for a walk, and we didn't notice they were gone until much later. They never returned. I still smile imagining the smell of the thief's house. I wonder too, if the thief was able to get their hind-quarters white again.
Too late!! I keep jars of Brach's candy corn on my desk at school. Yes...I know...it's pure "white death" sugar. Back in the day, I think anything chocolate was wonderful. There used to be a neighbor on my childhood who worked for M&M/Mars. He brought home BAGS of chocolate candy. I wanted to live at his house!
Also? I've found that the "Lose It" app for iPhone is awesome. All you have to do is be "in the green" at the end of the day by having "moved" more than you ate. It has really worked for me.
Seriously...you should publish Sasha's email address. I've heard that works.
I second and third the notion that Sasha should fuck right off. Mrs. G, you can't just get a hair trigger on the delete button? I say that because password protecting might be a disincentive for some lurkers or people who just stop by from blurting out a comment that is a cry for help and brings out the full righteous force of The Women's Colony. I think of the woman a few weeks ago who opened up about being in an abusive relationship. I can't believe her confession was a long planned out thing. I think she showed up at the Women's Colony, thought she'd comment on something and it all just came out. Instantly there were offers of help and shelter from around the country. There are precious few places where that sort of thing happens and I'd hate to see password protection -- which I'm assuming would put a few day wait period on requests for a password -- be a barrier that stops that sort of cry for help. What if you deputize some of us to be Troll Patrol. We have your back.
@Little Miss Sunshine State - That's awesome! Last time I joined (about 8 years ago) I lost 90 lbs over a 7 mth period. However I gained it all back plus more thanks to a bit of a drinking problem I had. Also, Fried Bologna and Miracle Whip Sandwiches were (and still are) a staple in my house. Until about 2 years ago we never had Mayo at my parents house.
@Violet - I've never had Velveeta and Miracle Whip Sandwiches but I like to buy the sliced American Cheese and eat it on White bread with Miracle Whip.
All this talk about Sandwiches is making me miss gluten even more!!!
Oh ferfucksake Sasha, how could you take a fun post like this and ruin it?
Reading all the answers, I think I loved a lot of treats. Junior Mints, Sweetarts, frozen Snickers & 3 Musketeers in my grandmother's freezer. I could do this all day. Violet mentioned Sugar Babies; I remember chewing big mouthfuls down to caramel sugar. My teeth ache just thinking about it!
I LOVE candy. I'm a sugar freak. It's my downfall. I could certainly leave a bag a chips alone, but not sugar. I think Twix are my fav. Or Kit-Kats. I do draw the line at most of the fruity crap. Gimme chocolate! For Halloween, I only buy stuff I can leave alone. The past few years it's been Airheads. The kids think they're a big deal and I don't bother with them.
Oh good lord- try as I might I loved food even as a kid.
Candy- bring it on.
With 5 kids in the family sweets were a treat but "our" dear sweet Mother hid Chocolate in the house. as if no one knew.
I loved tart lemon drops.
Cream filled chocolate drops.
Carmel filled anything- hubcaps would be fine if you filled them with carmel....
Zero bars- be mine.
Rolo- the end of the world and back again.
You can have my candy corn, hard candy of most any kind. Skittles and gummies but I would kill you for those orange slices covered in sugar- suck off the sugar and then slowly eat the slices... good lord must have been my first ......hummm....better stop now.
I ate no chocolate for almost 30 years- last year I found I could eat it again...dangerous!
I know a women who hated sweets and chocolate- I wondered if she could be trusted, she is now doing 15 years for embezelment.
Take that!
PS- go sis!
OMG, I remember Now and Laters at the little candy shack by the river where we went as a family when I was a kid. Also, during the summer kid movie matinees, I would get that flavored powder that you ate with a candy stick you licked. Essentially kool-aid powder.
FU Sasha.
Oh and I loooooooved Tang. That really was astronaut drink, right? RIGHT?
ZERO BARS! I had forgotten about the white chocolate goodness of Zero Bars but my real down fall is grilled cheese sandwiches dripping with butter and lots of cheese!
Good luck with the Weight Watchers! I managed to lose over 30 pounds but am struggling to not gain it back! It is true that exercise and eating right does make you feel better...darn it!!
And now? Today? I loooooooooooove Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Almonds with sea salt and turbinado sugar. I'm popping them like pills right now.
I generally like(d) anything chocolate, peanut, nougat and caramel-y. Loved Sugar Babies, Baby Ruth and a chocolate coated caramel bar called Marathon Bar. I also liked gooey stuff like Turkish Taffy. And Razzles, even though I'm not a fan of the sweet-sour type candy. But my favorite all-time is not candy but Devil Dogs. On a very rare special occassion I'll buy a box and down a few with cold milk. Yum!
These comments aren't so great for my weight-loss efforts, either. Oh, well...
I, too, would hate to see this space password-protected and therefore difficult for newbies to join. Can't you just assign a few frequent readers whose judgment you trust comment deletion powers, to take care of the trolls? Sounds to me as though Sasha has never struggled with weight gain and therefore has no compassion for those who have. Her loss... (ooh, no pun intended)
Also, she might be jealous that you have all these "faults" (or whatever you want to call your very human characteristics that most of us share) and people love you for them. Maybe she was taught from a young age that she needed to be perfect to be lovable.
Grandma always had the orange slices in a jar on her table, still love them. And spice drops cause she had those too. Dots. Juju fruits. Red and black licorice. Beemans gum. Hostess fruit pies from the pool. I preferred peach.
Sasha...perhaps some sugar would help you?
WW--awesome program. Friend of mine use to be a leader, about this time of year she would tell her meetings to go to the store and stick a couple bags of Halloween candy in the front of their pants, when someone says something to you, you just tell them you are just trying it on to see how it's going to fit! Good luck Mrs. G. Love you no matter what.
Reeses Peanut Butter Cups. Nuts and chocolate in any combination. Good Humor toasted almond bars.
And Susan. Darn you! Darn you to Heck for mentioning those TJ salted chocolate almonds. I have to go to TJ tomorrow to pick up a few things, and I know those are now going to throw themselves into my cart.
Vivianne - don't deny yourself a tiny pleasure! I think of them as my once-a-day dark chocolate vitamin. Science says dark chocolate is good for us! :) (I know... sorry). How bad can one almond, once a day be? And Reeses PB cups? Mmmmmmm.
I too remember the candy cigarettes. What was up with those? My biggest candy memory was frozen snickers at the pool every summer. My mom was pretty strict with letting us have candy but there was always something sweet at my grandparents. I do know better than to buy Halloween candy now because I will be buying more on The day itself when I realize that I have eaten all of the first batch. My latest ploy is to buy all candy that I hate so I won't be tempted.
oh...all of the above. smartees, wax lips, ice cream sandwich, orange sherbet and sprite floats, candy cigarettes, sugar babies, frozen three musketeers, fried bologna and egg grilled cheese sandwich, peanut butter and pickle relish (That was my sister, Not me), bit-0-honey, smores, co-cola, sweet tea (southern sweet tea), wax soda bottles, pixie sticks, peach nehi, chocolate yahoo, moon pies, my grandmother's biscuits with bacon grease....in your pocket since breakfast and you dig them out later...pecan pie with the crust with lard, leather britches beans with lard, red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting, coconut cake, nilla vanilla wafer banana cream pie with whipped cream topping - full fat whipped cream, velveeta and miracle whip grilled cheese sandwich, pimento cheese sandwich, watermelon from the creek, deviled eggs with all the bad stuff - yolks, mayo, salt, pickle relish; ham - southern salt cured smoked ham which is pink and salt with salt and biscuits with bacon grease, in your pocket all day....
it's a wonder i'm not dead.
Ice cream is one of my downfalls. Once a friend and I walked (sneaked) to the nearest grocery store (Where Giant used to be, suburban Correspondant) and bought all the fixin's for a hot fudge sundae...including a half gallon of ice cream. We ate it all. We were soooooo sick.
My favorite candy, however, is peanut butter and chocolate. And when I was younger, chocolate covered cherries. And anything Sees candy, because we lived on the East Coast, and wouldn't be able to get ANY until someone visited from the West Coast (which happened a few times a year). I also loved red licorice. Hated black. Now I like both. And when I want comfort candy? Plain old Hershey's. Nothing beats it. Although I do love the candy bar called "whatchamacalit"
I never met a candy I didn't like. Never.
Sasha's a right bitch.
What I've come to learn about bullies like Sasha is that they tend to pick at others for the things they hate most about themselves. I feel a bit sorry for you Sasha, but not enough that I won't give you a big 'FU'. Fecking troll.
Anywhoo....candy. I like the candy cigarettes ok, but I preferred candy necklaces, especially the banana flavored yellow 'beads'. Bottlecaps were another favorite, as were Poprocks. My favorite candy still remains Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. I'm crazy for anything that combines chocolate and peanut butter. When I lived in Phoenix, the best sodas were the 'suicides' we made at Circle K, adding every kind of flavor syrup to our Coke.
Susan and Vivianne... Let me add a little twist to the chocolate seasalt turbinado almonds. When you buy those, *also* buy a container of the yogurt covered almonds. And then eat one of each together. You can thank me later.
Cookies are my kryptonite. And jelly bellies. And anything maple flavored. Or dark dark dark chocolate.
Has anyone mentioned Watermelon Jolly Ranchers? Still a favorite.
It was rare that we had candy. When we went on vacation, we were usually given a few dollars beforehand & my sister & I would load up on candy for the trip - those wax bottles filled with colored sugar water were a fave, and Snickers bars. I'd take my babysitting money and get Bit-O-Honey (they were cheap!) & I had a thing for Hershey's kisses for a while.
meredith@why not, Trader Joe's has orange slices covered in dark chocolate! YUM.
Good for you Mrs. G!! I've done WW before and had success but I have terrible follow through and get side tracked easily. I hope the one lame lousy loser of a lurker hasn't dampened your spirits too much! We love you here!!!
I never met a piece of candy I didn't like. Even at almost 50 years old, I would survive on Lucky Charms, pop-tarts and Three Musketeers bars if I didn't think people would notice. Does anyone else remember Fudgees: little cubes of fudge wrapped in foil? I wish those were still around!
Sasha - it's about time YOU started working on a personality. Just do it somewhere else.
Oh my I LOVE Tang! I have a huge jumbo size container on my fridge right now!