Our First Derf Comments Policy
Monday, October 8, 2012 at 7:54PM Mrs. G. 
After consulting with the Squarespace help desk and a good bit of deep breathing, Mrs. G. is having second thoughts about password protecting the blog. In order to password protect the blog, Mrs. G. didn't realize she has to invite readers to join, and while she knows how to contact many of you, there are hundreds of sweet lurkers she has no idea how to reach. There would indeed be valid, beloved derfs who might not make the cut. Not fair.
And then there were these very astute comments:
I second and third the notion that Sasha should fuck right off. Mrs. G, can't you just get a hair trigger on the delete button? I say that because password protecting might be a disincentive for some lurkers or people who just stop by from blurting out a comment that is a cry for help and brings out the full righteous force of The Women's Colony. I think of the woman a few weeks ago who opened up about being in an abusive relationship. I can't believe her confession was a long planned out thing. I think she showed up at the Women's Colony, thought she'd comment on something and it all just came out. Instantly there were offers of help and shelter from around the country. There are precious few places where that sort of thing happens and I'd hate to see password protection -- which I'm assuming would put a few day wait period on requests for a password -- be a barrier that stops that sort of cry for help. What if you deputize some of us to be Troll Patrol. We have your back.
I, too, would hate to see this space password-protected and therefore difficult for newbies to join. Can't you just assign a few frequent readers whose judgment you trust comment deletion powers, to take care of the trolls? Sounds to me as though Sasha has never struggled with weight gain and therefore has no compassion for those who have. Her loss... (ooh, no pun intended)
So in an effort to avoid exclusivity and maintain the kindness and integrity of the community, Mrs. G. is implementing the following nonnegotiable commenting rule:
1) If you personally insult Mrs. G. or any other reader, your comment will be deleted and you will be blocked. The end.
That's it.
Mrs. G. asks all readers to ignore shitty comments until she can delete them. Jackasses want attention; let's not give them any.
p.s. Mrs. G's ass has feelings too.
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Reader Comments (80)
Aww, you listened! I feel special! And relieved!
Good deal Mrs. G!
As always, you have a perfect solution. I'm sorry that you will have to see any of those nasty remarks, but you are a strong, kind, loving, civil, humane individual and those that post them have none of that and can reach out through nastiness. They are probably trying to evoke response, so ignoring them completely is actually a very wise response.
I love you & your ass, and the people who eloquently spoke to you. I am always happy to vehemently delete shitty comments if needed.
That's a solution that will work--though I thought Rainbow Motel's suggestion had some merit.
Yay you! Yay us!
Good call Mrs G. Sorry that you even had to deal with any of that crap.
Hooray! There is a now a Do Not Feed the Trolls policy at Derfwad Manor. With a taser back-up. Excellent.
Super smart. Of course.
:-) xoxo
Great news, Mrs. G! I'm a happy lurker!
Okay.
More power to you and the mostly marvellous readership.
Your house, your rules. Those who don't like it can leave. One's blog is one's castle (of words).
This makes me so happy! I am sad every time a blog is chased into the closet by a viscious troll.
Love this. I was afraid I wouldn't be "in" and then wher would I be?
Hey y'all, this is me she's talking about:
" I think of the woman a few weeks ago who opened up about being in an abusive relationship. I can't believe her confession was a long planned out thing. I think she showed up at the Women's Colony, thought she'd comment on something and it all just came out. Instantly there were offers of help and shelter from around the country. There are precious few places where that sort of thing happens and I'd hate to see password protection -- which I'm assuming would put a few day wait period on requests for a password -- be a barrier that stops that sort of cry for help."
I have an update - and I'm going to email it to Mrs. G, so she can share in the way she feels most appropriate for her blog - but I have to jump in now to say that my confession was absolutely not planned, that it was my heart crying out for something, for someone to listen to me, & I shared with you all things that I'd never told my closest friends (and some still don't know), and that I'm SO glad to have this place, to be able to come here & blurt out my innermost feelings - Mrs. G, thank you for this place you've created.
MD
MD, xoxoxoxo
We love you, Mrs. G (and MD, too).
Aw, MD, I'm so glad. This really is a great place. Mrs. G is the best!
Short, sweet, and covers it completely. Your blog, your rules. I'm really sorry that these idiots are peeing in the pool.
This is my get away, my downtime, my "book" when I can't get to one. Thank you for not password protecting. This would cause problems as I have to wait now for my kids to come home to do anything technical to the TV or computer. Love you, love the ladies that write the way I can't but certainly the way I feel.
Mrs. G. I am one of the lurkers who rarely posts and I've followed you for several years (I used to be in Guam) and I am so glad to be able to continue to read your words. Hugs to you and I'm sorry for the negative words.
Great solution (and I love you and your ass too)!
MD, we are all sending you good thoughts! You are not alone.
Between Mrs. G. and MD, I'm a blubbering fool. I love your place, Mrs. G., and all those who've found a home here.
Good deal! I've been a part of those blogs that are password protected, and eventually, I drifted away...not for lack of interest, just that, you know, if it's not easy, it's usually not done for long. That sounds lame-o, but in this online world, it is reality. For a lot of us. the more passwords, the less I do. In my dotage, I'm finding that is becoming more and more the issue of where I go, when I go, and how I go...online ;)
You are in charge, m'lady. And as such, I believe you have the ultimate right to delete, and block. And I"m so glad that is the route you are taking. We ALL have feelings, even if it's in this other-worldly realm we all seem to rule----the bloggo-space. I think if we (your loyal readers) can just rein in our desire to "have your back" and fire off retaliatory words to the offender, I believe they will just stop. In time. Bullies that don't get fed, or attended to, often fade away. I think of trolls that way. They are just bullies. We've all dealt with those.
Love you babe.
Julie
Your blog, your sandbox, we play by your rules....otherwise let the cats at the sandbox and THEN invite the cyberbullies into play. Love you Mrs. G! Don't ever change!
Towanda!!!
: )
Well this is good. I can't imagine spending time on a blog that I did not like and spend even more time leaving nasty comments. People never cease to amaze me. Glad you had good advice from squarespace and that the manor is still open. I love this place!
Yay. Thanks Mrs. G. Let me know if your mom needs help with tasing anyone and I'm happy to f-bomb anyone who deserves it.
Yay, Mrs. G! and yay, MD!
I am a happy lurker as well. Thank you for being you.
As a first time lurker I'm clearly behind, but I'll be back. Sorry you had to deal with an idiot, some people just feed on others.
I am gonna cry, you all ROCK!
I'm about to say something I don't think I would have ever dreamed of saying, but know that I mean it from the bottom of my heart. I, like stepahnie and The Other Laura, love your ass too.
I have always been of the "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" philosophy. Delete the trolls.
MD -- So glad to hear from you! I love that this is a place where we can reach out to each other.
Woot!
P.S. Will your Mom teach me how to use the taser? I always thought that having one would be bad ass!
Nice call, nice ass too!
I hope you will not password protect the comments - I understand the aggravation, but I think the whole point of the Women's Colony and Derfworld is that you welcome all.
Fuck the trolls. They are sad, sour people. I will try to ignore them if I can.
Great decision!
Good choice!
I like the policy of don't feed the trolls, and I like the policy of delete, delete, delete.
Whatever you gotta do to keep doing what you do so well gets a big Hell Ya! from me.
This is a special kind of dysfunctional family here, the fun kind of dysfunction, and we don't need that type.
Night night Derfs.
The perfect solution. Love you, Mrs. G. ALL of you.
Rock on Mrs. G!
delete and block. excellent strategy, sorry for the pain before the delete and block. :(
Thanks for what you give us, and for not taking it away. I love you, your wit, your sarcasm, your intelligence, your writing.
Rock on, Mrs. G.
That's how we handle it at the website where I work. Delete and block. Nice work, Mrs. G. We heart you!
I think this is a step worth trying. If it doesn't work for you, Mrs. G., you can always go the password route.
I don't have a blog so I don't know exactly how this stuff works, but a lot of blogs I read REQUIRE a comment author's email, but it is not made public. I'm guessing the blogger can find out who it is, but not anyone else? Therefore someone could still post an anonymous comment, but only Mrs. G could trace it back to it's author, (and then block that person if necessary).
You, Mrs. G, and your blog mean a lot to many people. I hope that knowledge helps to counter the negative comments in some small way.
Wish I could give you a big (ass) hug!
Delete and block away -- it's your blog. Wise decision IMO.
I love your blog -- though I don't comment often, I read it every day. Thank you for the Manor!
We've got your back. And your ass, too. You're the best!
P.S.: MD good to hear from you. We've been worried. Glad you're o.k.
Don't feed the trolls, LOL. I'm glad you found a solution.