OK, Let's Walk the Walk
Wednesday, March 21, 2012 at 8:23PM Mrs. G. 
After tallying the votes and emailing extensively with many of you, the consensus (by a large margin) is spreading the Derf love regionally (in small gatherings) across the U.S. is preferable to trying to arrange one large Wad gathering. The Other Kay (God love her) has not only held Mrs. G's hand through several phone calls but has generously offered some pretty incredible venues for the California contingency. Thank you, Other Kay. Mrs. G. would probably have chickened out if it wasn't for you.
Deep breath.
So as of this evening chickening out is no longer an option. Plans have been made. Mrs. G. is going to get in the car July 1st and drive her ass all over hell and back to find yous, sit with yous, laugh with yous, dance with yous, celebrate female solidarity and complete strangers having each others' backs. Let's turn off the television and the radio and generate some good news. We might even have to take a trip or two to Michaels for glitter and Sculpey Bake and Bend Clay. Listen, we are going to tear it up.
In order to pull this off, Mrs. G. is going to need some help.
First, she needs to know where you live and if you can lend her your couch for a night. Mrs. G. regrets asking you to put her up the same day she admitted to allowing her washing machine repair man to unknowingly kneel in cat pee, but what's done is done and let's try and put that behind us. Please only offer your couch if you mean it because Mrs. G's biggest fear, as many of you know, is being kidnapped on a dark freeway, shoved in a coffin and forced to live underneath some freak and his wife's bed, only let out on Sundays for torture and a shower.
Second, she needs to know where you live and if you are firmly committed to getting together because her route is dependent on maximizing Derf fellowship. The more of us who can gather together, the more likely Mrs. G. is to drive there.
Third, she needs to know who is willing to host a low-key gathering (or find a good restaurant or bar to hang out as a group).
All emails should be sent to mrs.ggggggggggggggg@gmail.com*
Fourth, unlike many A-List bloggers who have made similar excursions, Mrs. G. has the following Z-List corporate sponsors.
But not to worry. Mrs. G. has a fancy espresso machine and assorted things to sell on Ebay small trust fund and some mad money tucked away, but she can't fund this excursion on her own. She's got to rent a car and fill up the gas tank a few times.
Rather than ask for blatant handouts, Mrs. G. has is offering sponsorships accompanied by winning, seductive prizes that coincidentally also sound like Urban Dictionary sex acts.
Bronze Tabby: a $10 donation earns you a personal manshoe shopping consultation.
Silver Calico: a $25 dollar donation earns you a video of Mr. G. making his famous pasta sauce, complete with the ultra secret ingredient he is normally unwilling to reveal to anyone. Some friends think they have the recipe, but they don't have it have it if you know what Mrs. G. is saying.
Gold Persian: a $50 donation enters you in a drawing for one of Mrs. G's most hideous pieces of bad cat art.
Triple-Platinum Full Siamese with Extra Depp Sauce: a $100 donation earns you a phone call from Mrs. G's mom, who will critique your hair and weight.
Any money donated will be reported and itemized receipts will be scanned and accounted for on one of the many I Am A Derfwad...Summer 2012 pages, pages that will facilitate organization, potential carpooling opportunities and meet up information for each regional gathering.
If more money is donated than necessary to help cover Mrs. G's travel expenses, it will be spent on food and drink for all at get-togethers. If not enough money is donated to help cover Mrs. G's travel expenses, she is going to have to turn major tricks until July.
Donations can be sent through Paypal to mrs.ggggggggggggggg@gmail.com*
Here is how Mrs. G. feels:
Let's do this thing!
More details on route and dates as soon as she gets the necessary info.
15 gs
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Reader Comments (98)
This is the most wonderful thing ever. Appropriate email information, donation and navigation/processing to ensue. I'm local to you but perhaps we can work out carpooling. More
to come. :)
Thanks teacakes. I'm thinking we need to gather in Washington at the end of the trip, a final celebration. As soon as I have numbers and locations, I'm setting up pages for each area to facilitate carpooling, etc. You can also email me and we can talk on the phone. MG
oh. how jealous i am of other Derfs that i won't be here to be a part of all this....BUT....i will bring you...nay, i will hand deliver you a donation for this. (it will be a small one, but a donation nonetheless!!) .
i think a t-shirt needs to be made to commemorate this event....i'd buy one, for sure!!!
Derf on!!!
Deb, you will be there in spirit. We might have to do a little hula in your honor. I'll see you in a couple of weeks. T-shirts and ball caps will be available.
Info has been sent and donation to follow. I am in on a tee if they are made in very big sizes! So excited to have something to look forward to this summer.
I'm not offering a t-shirt that won't fit me so large sizes are in! So looking foward to meeting you! MG
Thirding the option for t-shirts/cap merchandise purchisng opportunity please. Off to investigate Paypal shennanigans. Not even feeling a little bit jealous at all. Much.
Trash, I promise we will make a video just for you. Maybe I'll have to make a movie for all those not in attendance, sort of like the Acadamy Award's feature honoring all the people who've died. I wish you could come across the pond. T-shirts, ball caps for sure. MG
I am so jealous of this expedition. Would love to participate in any small way, but I am clear on the opposite coast from you. :-( Will be following your itinerary and sure to send some paypal funds your way.
Erin, I'm coming as far across as the numbers lead me, so who knows?. It looks like Atlanta is in, so... MG
I'd so love it if you were able to travel to the Eastern regions, but one step at a time. More details via email, but donation on the way. I'm up for the t-shirt thing, too!
Got it! Quit ruling out the east. MG
I live in Overland Park, a suburb of Kansas City. I've got a sofa to crash on if you need it and if there are Derfs in the Mid-west near the KC area, I can find a spot for everyone to meet.
I'll be contacting you about a donation. Let's do this, Derfs!!
Thanks, Kelley! MG
Am in Elgin, IL - not only have a couch with a Labrador on it (sharing!) BUT also a fur-free teen girl bedroom and a teen girl I can boot to the couch - providing you an actual BED! We are a 50 minutes Metra commuter train ride from downtown Chicago, for sightseeing possibilities, too (you do NOT want to drive and park in downtown Chicago - I never have, and I grew up navigating L.A. freeways!).
House free for small gatherings, too - it does have the dog and three cats, so I am told it smells a bit like a dog and three cats. I wouldn't know - I have anosmia
Thanks, JFS! I think some of the gatherings will be pretty small (10-15), so a restaurant or bar works fine too. MG
I am in Ithaca, with Derfs (whose name escape me) a short distance south in Binghamton another west in Niagara and over east toward the Hudson Valley with Marms37. If, for example, you are headed over to see janet etc near Boston, stop around here first :) You are welcome to stay with me and the wife indeed!
I sure would like to meet you and the wife. MG
Oh Mrs. G. I've been waiting for this day. I live about 20 miles outside of Atlanta and would love to help plan a gathering in this area, but would travel to another location in the southeast if needed. Not sure if I can offer up a couch -- we're in the midst of renovating our home -- but wil let you know if that changes. Will hit paypal later this morning.
Can't wait to meet you, Martha. Atlanta is well represented. MG
I'm in north eastern Wisconsin - about an hour and a half from Minneapolis/St. Paul, MN. I will be sending you an email on Saturday night!
I can't wait to meet you!
Denver here, I'm in. I seem to recall there are some Derfs in the Rocky Mountain region but can't remember who. You are welcome to flop in our spare bedroom (complete with comfy twin bed and mismatched furniture). We have two somewhat nutty rescue dogs--no cats and thus no cat pee but dog fur abounds and I'm way past trying to hide it.
Our home is available for a gathering or I can find an interesting meet-up place. And if I can figure out how to hack into my own Paypal account, which I created years ago but have never used, I'll send a donation. Email to follow...
Thanks, Deborah!
Yay from the SF Bay Area. Surely there are enough Derfs around here to party. I'm more than willing to lend our whole cabin in the mountains but it is a little out of the way. Still, I have beds for 7 and carpets for sleeping bags if people want to bring them. Great plan Heather.
Darla
Thanks, Darla. I know we have a hoppin' venue (a la Other Kay) in Modesto. You and I have been together for five years--we're meeting.
I live in southeastern Kentucky, and while I can offer you an entire guest room and bath all to yourself, I'm probably too far away from everyone else for this to be useful to you. However, I would be able to come to Atlanta if you get that far east. I'll send you an email with actual details.
Janet, Atlanta is looking good. MG
I'm on the north side of Atlanta. There is a very comfy couch and the semi-adult boy child's bedroom to choose from, if you like.
Oh, I hope you can make it this far east, it would be so cool to meet you and mingle with some other Derfs.
I'm about 2 hours north west of Atlanta. Would love to have an "Atlanta" based gathering...or somewhere nearish...
FYI, I am planning to come as far east as is necessary to hang with East Coast Derfs.
Yes to t-shirts and ball caps....one step ahead of you.
Elizabeth and navhelowife - I'm in Alpharetta - would be great to meet you two Derfs even before Mrs. G. hits our area. And Mrs. G. I have a ton of hotel points so if you are in need of a few hotel nights, I am happy to pass these on to you!
God, I LOVE that video!!!
I'm in Cincinnati. Unfortunately don't have a bed to offer, but I'm willing to travel to join the Midwest Derfs - Columbus, Cleveland, Chicago (that's about as far as I'd care to go - 6 hours). Or Indianapolis, Lexington, Louisville - you get my drift. If we end up based here, I'll be glad to find us someplace to paaaartay.
Info coming via email and I'm off to PayPal to send a donation. This is SO exciting!
We'll work it out. I'll keep you posted! MG
I have a wicked comfy futon in the spare room, you wouldn't have to sleep on the couch...although that is comfy, too. But I like to spread out when I sleep! Truthfully, I kind of miss the futon in the living room LMAO! And you're welcome to stay. I suck at planning, tho! Dave will ask me a million times if you're an axe murderer, this would be the conversation - Dave: "how do you know this person?" me: "I met her via my blog." Dave: "Yer...blog? You have a blog? You mean you've never REALLY met this person? What if she's a he and once you let her/him in, she/he will kill us in our sleep?" me: "She is a she, and she'd probably trip on Wolf and he'd bite her foot off, thereby stopping her in her killing tracks." Dave: *silence*
ps. Wolf wouldn't really bite you...I don't think ;-) although he did bite off the tip of poor Max's ear...hmm...cannibal? Nah, we found the tip. Brought it to the vet, hoping he/she could sew it back on. No dice.
Thanks, Janet. I'm not scared of Wolf. I have an ear to spare. MG
I might be the only Derf in Florida, but if you decide to see the Atlanta Derfs I would be up for driving up there, or taking a train.
Atlanta! I feel like I know you. MG
I'm in NC but could try to make Atlanta if that's the closest spot.
Keep you posted. MG
Oh, eff. Here's what I can promise:
If you make it to the Madison, Wisconsin vicinity, I WILL BE THERE. I will not say that I'll try to be there and then not be there as I may have done during someone else's road trip. I will be there.
I would help find a location for the event and set that part up for us. That part? Easy.
I can provide lots of local flavor, and I don't just mean food.
Since I'm a tad outside of the city and because if you sleep on my sofa, where will my husband sleep if he snores?, I would purchase a two-bed hotel room in Madison if you wouldn't mind sharing it with me.
So...
Madison, WI
yes
yes
yes
I love the video!! Also, I understand if there aren't enough Derfs in Wisconsin, especially with alluring Chicago and Minneapolis nearby. xo
Jodi, I know you are as chicken/squeamish as I am about these sorts of situations. Let's bust loose together. Madison is looking pretty good. MG
I'm in NE Iowa. Not sure if any other Derfs in Iowa but always have a bed to offer in our home. And yes two cats but no cat pee! Or a queen sized hide a bed if our houseboat in Lansing, Iowa would be an interest. It will most likely be more of a floating cabin this summer with gas prices rather than an actual moving boat! This is exciting to think of all the fellow Derfs you will get to meet. How fun! I will send an email later with my exact info.
Thanks, Kay! I'll try to get as close as I can to you.
You can crash on my couch and we can have a gathering in my backyard complete with wood-fired pizzas! I'm in Minneapolis.
Thanks, Becky!
Wow would I love a Madison meet up! I'm just south of there. I think Elgin is on the metra route I use to get to Chicago so that would be doable too.
I don't post often but still would love to meet up with everyone.
No posting/commenting required to attend or be a full blooded derf. MG
Madison, WI might be a good Midwest place - only a three hourish drive for me, seems central to WI, twin cites folks (lure in Minnesota Matron!) and Chicago area.
I'm in Lansing, Michigan (right in the palm of the mitten state). I have a blow-up bed I can set up in the basement and a basset hound who cuddles. I have a big park nearby for a bigger gathering, and a little tiny backyard with a BIG grill for a smaller one. Will email you after ... ahem. ... checking with the husband. (winky emoticon)
Thanks Kate. Again, when I have numbers and locations, Mr. G. is going to map out the world for me. MG
However, I'd totally go to Chicago/suburbs, if that's where you'd rather go.
This made me proud, laugh and cry all at the same time. Proud that the Derf's stood up and wanted to help fund a trip so that we could meet in person, laugh because I would love to have some bad cat art (it would fit with all the other stuff in my house) and cry because that young girl had the courage to move outside of her comfort zone and then scream with joy!
Can't wait to meet you Kay!
Way too far away to expect a visit but will keep an eye on the itinerary and attend a meetup for sure . T-shirt is a great idea and I will donate through pay-pal. Love this idea, this blog and Mrs. G!
Yes to t-shirts, Judy. MG
Mrs. G - I live in Olympia, and you're welcome to crash in my guest room. I know the 6o mile drive south on I-5 can be rough and sometimes a girl just needs to take a nap.
Can I attend a gathering even if I only very rarely comment but always read everything that everyone else shares? I still have your address in my drawer with the intention of writing you a "get well soon" letter post gallbladder surgery. Which I haven't sent because I'm being oddly shy.
MJ, thanks. Also, we are going to have a WA get together on my last leg home. MG
Although I live in Houston, during the month of July I will be in northern Pennsylvania -- about an hour south of Gary Rith. I'd love to join the celebration there. This is truly something to look forward to.
I'll try to make it work.
I'm in SE KS, with KC only a 3 hr drive. If that would work best, that would be very doable. I don't know if you got my email before Heather, but that offer would still be open too if that worked better for you. Is there anybody else in the area?
Thanks, Lisa (I'm behind on email). KC is definitely in the mix. I've had several KC folks email me today, so it's an almost guaranteed stop. Yay!
MJ - my gosh I do the same thing! I read every day, but don't comment. Are you at Fort Lewis or in town? Do you have a mug at the brewery?
If there are any Derfs in the Spokane area, I will be happy to host Mrs G. in her own bedroom and the rest of the Derfs at my house/yard.
I'll kick the boys and man out for the day/night. They can go to grandma's house.
Heather, can I use paypal multiple times in one category, in order to increase my chances of winning a certain drawing?
Please let the t-shirt be the same as the header on this post! The cat + the words = Derfwad perfection!
PS to Janet's Dave: So far, no internet friend has been an axe murderer (that I know of!) and I've met more than a few of them in person. Someday I will get myself to Boston to meet Janet!
Y'all are much braver than I am...or maybe more trusting of your fellow "man," but there is no way in h-e-double hockey sticks that I would "do" this. Call me a skeptical, but my imagination runs towards kidnapping, and just gets more twisted from there on out. I'll be with you in spirit.
I get it, Nana. It's taken me five years to get up the nerve and I have it no because I have met so many derfs personally and have been in communication with many others for a long ass time. We'll miss you. Or I'll be the subject of the next Ann Rule book. MG
I also am guilty of not commenting very much but read everyday! And love hearing about all the Derf's life happenings and thoughts.
@Hey Nana -- It is easy for me to offer a bedroom to Mrs. G. and invite others over because I have met Heather several times already (she lives near some of my family) and I have met others in "safe" public places like restaurants. My experience has taught me that when people are "real" with each other online, they are not a big surprise to meet in person. Granted, it does take a leap of faith to meet blog friends for the first time. If there is a meeting of fellow Derfwads in your area, I hope you will consider going. Heather is thoughtful, considerate, and a joy to meet! ♥
Lisa Winks, I'm in the KC area! Mrs. G., if you head this way, I will make sure we get a table at one of the many fine BBQ dives our town has to offer! I could probably even reserve a few tables if necessary.
Here in the Southern California Division of Derfwadia, west side of Los Angeles County, I'm willing to host both Mrs. G and a gathering, only it has to be sometime other than between June 26 and July 19, when we're traveling.
We have not only a couch but an entire spare bedroom room with its own bathroom.
I'll email you, Mrs. G!
Thanks, Aunt Snow.
@kate in Michigan - I am originally from the Lansing area, and I am also a "Kate"... strange.
Now, alas, I am near Louisville, KY, and will have an infant this summer, so I probably could not justify driving too far away. My parents are in St. Louis, and Lexington, Indianapolis, and Cincinnati would all be reasonable distances to drive. One plus of coming closer to me is getting to meet my child that I have assured all of you is unbelievably adorable... ha!
Hey Nana - I have opened my home to lots of people that I did not know (my favorite is a man that my husband met at the Post Exchange, he did not have post housing and had no where to sleep, so my husband brought him home to live with us). Not once have I ever regretted it. I know that this might not work for everyone, but I really enjoy it.
I have two extra bedrooms, two recliners, a couch and a ton of floor space that any of you would be welcome to use(and most importantly two showers). So, while it is nothing fancy, come on down!
Janet - I have my own Wolfe (a Shiba female) that thinks people were put on earth just to pet her, but lay your hands on me and she will be 25 pounds of fury!
Kay - I have not ever met another Kay, I think that it is way cool to "meet" another one!
No, it's all right everyone, my jealousy hasn't increased at all reading the ever growing level of excitement. Much.
(sad emoticon) MG
See, another derf around northern Penn and upstate NY :) Mid-late July sounds coolio to me. I should mention, Missus G, that me and the wife don't have any kinky tastes or habits.....and we don't own an axe either..... ;)
So will the Seattle-area gathering be a Bon Voyage party at the beginning of the journey or a Welcome Home bash at the end? Count me in either way!
Welcome Home!
Great news, Mrs. G.! I'm so excited to think about a gathering this summer, assuming you'll find a location pretty close to Michigan. One daughter is in for sure, and I'm sure the other one will be too. So 3 of us and whoever is also in MI. Donations will come soon.
Can't wait to meet you, Carolyn.
Where are my Rocky Mountain/mountain time zone peeps? Please don't tell me I'm the only Derf at altitude...
We'll know in a week or so when all the info shakes out. MG
Oh, by the way, our location is not really close to anywhere you might want to be, but we DO have an extra bed/room/bath and no pets. All yours! We're kind of "Up North" in Michigan. But not all the way. :-)
@Martha, I am in Georgia, too - but just south of Atlanta, in Newnan. I was hoping there would be enough of us in the southeast to warrant a get-together in this area ... and now I'm really getting excited! @LittleMissSunshineState - where in FL are you?
Yo, Atlanta!