Dear 40,000 or so One Million Moms,
Mrs. G. has forgiven you for your hissy fit over Ben & Jerry's Schweddy Balls ice cream flavor even though she really wanted to enjoy a big bowl of Schweddy balls while watching one of your many least favorite shows, Modern Family. Unlike you, Mrs. G. loves that show even though it has gays, Colombians, Asians, sexually aware teenagers and humor in it.
While perusing your website today, Mrs. G. familiarized herself with your purpose:
OneMillionMoms.com was begun to give moms an impact with the decision-makers and let them know we are upset with the messages they are sending our children and the values (or lack of them) they are pushing.
So, Schweddy Balls and Modern Family aside, Mrs. G. is writing this letter in hopes that we can work out some sort of arrangement, and by arrangement she means schooling you on a few of your organization's inconsistencies and the art of disagreement and compromise.
First, One Million Moms, you only have 40,000 or so members and in Mrs. G's house, her family refers to this as "Homeschool Math." They were a homeschooling family, so this is not a pejorative term or a personal insult. It just means that, like them, you might want to rely more heavily on a calculator.
Now to the notion of compromise.
Currently you are urging your members to email Toys 'R' Us and insist the company remove the Archie comic with the same-sex Just Married cover on it. Mrs. G. could explain how Archie and his gay peeps are cartoon characters or that the cover could just as easily be a scene from the movie Wedding Crashers, but she's not.
Instead, she's going to respectfully request you urge your followers to also email the Christian Broadcasting Network and suggest they prohibit Pat Robertson, no meteorology training to speak of, from delivering weather reports that might inspire children to fear God and wind.
Again, Mrs. G. isn't going to get on her soapbox and point out that Lifetime is a network geared toward adult women or how the woman in The Client List takes the job so she can support her children who have been abandoned by their father, because, read the program's tagline, a mother will do anything for her family.
No, Mrs. G's just going to tell you to quit pretending it's about the kids and suck it up because during their weekly phone calls, she was forced to hear her grandmother describe all 211 episodes of Touched By An Angel.
Mrs. G. is certain you are annoyed that JCPenney refused to succumb to your pressure to fire Ellen as its current spokesperson.
Mrs. G. is baffled, 40,000 or so One Million Moms, you don't have any issues with radio personality and spokesperson Rush Limbaugh whose family values include: illegal drugs, infidelity, multiple wives, calling women sluts and soliciting sex tapes. He has over 25 million listeners and Mrs. G. bets little ears are in the house or backseat while he is spewing his family values.
In conclusion, 40,000 or so One Million Moms, Mrs. G. has to point out some of your enlightening Facebook quotes.
Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about the things that matter.
~Martin Luther King
In this, we are in agreement
Jesus Christ 'Two Most Explosive Words' says Brit Hume
In this, we are not in agreement.
Photo by Dave Parrish
Mrs. G. believes the two current most explosive words are vaginal and probe.
Wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our phone? What if we: carried it around in our purses or pockets? flipped through it several times a day? turned back to go get it if we forgot it? treated it like we couldn't live without it? gave it to teens as gifts? used it when we traveled & in case of an emergency? Unlike our cell, our Bible doesn't have dropped calls because it is always reliable!
Hard to say but here are some possibilities:
With all due respect, 40,000 or so One Million Moms, all your fears and concerns seem simply solved: ease up on the emails and monitor what your kids are watching.
Lighten up. Worry about your own selves, and leave the rest of us and our Schweddy Balls alone. We're all mainly doing the best we can.