Friday
Jun152012
Full Confessional Friday
Friday, June 15, 2012 at 10:44PM Mrs. G. 
Photo by muha
Be it Venial or Mortal (there's no escaping Original), we've all got secrets -- light, dark, funny, sad -- worth bringing to light. The act of confession can be liberating, mollifying and entertaining. Contrition? Repentance? A shot of Tequila? That's your call, sister.
tagged Full Confessional Friday
Full Confessional Friday
Reader Comments (44)
My confession? My husband and I are going to NYC next week while the kids are gone to camp, and I can not wait. Can't wait. Love my life, but looking forward to a break.
Right now, I am incredibly proud of my two younger sons: the teenager has been raking in awards for the past 2 weeks and will be taking on a leadership position for the next 2 years. He is well on his way to positioning himself for his dream college. Meanwhile, the 6th grader was voted by his peers as most inspiring boy -- an award chosen only by the students (the teachers did not know who was chosen until it was announced today). Derfs, we moved last summer, so those kids hadn't even met my boy before September 2011. Most of the kids had been together since Kindergarten. The principal and my boy's teacher both got teary when they told me what a Big Deal it is to receive this award. It was a "graduating class" of 90 kids. SnakeMaster is shy. VERY shy. But he is also humble, kind, and polite.
Lest you think my kids are perfect, I'm being kept humble by my college freshman who went off to school in August with a 4.3 GPA and is now on academic probation with the Honors College. (No partying involved. It's all about procrastination and not turning in work that has earned him a several F's.) I'll be surprised if he doesn't flunk out next year.
My 3 oldest kids are jobless this summer and I'm more than a little frustrated that they didn't really apply themselves -- and in the second-born's case, didn't bother applying at all. My dh and I both worked as soon as we could, to earn money for college and for fun, personal expenses. The boys KNOW we did this. They KNOW we want them to be working at jobs. So WHY don't our kids make a bigger effort to find work?
Think about it, Karen - if we were dumb enough not to get a job and just sit around the house all summer, that's exactly what we would have done: sit around the house all summer. We wouldn't have had money to go out and there wasn't any Internet, decent TV, video games, etc., to keep us amused. I distinctly remember spending an entire summer watching Family Feud and The Price is Right.
So...maybe if you unplug everything?
My husband has been gone for 2 weeks and is coming back tomorrow and I'm sort of bummed I have to share a bedroom again. I mean, I've got my puzzle books and my New Yorkers spread out everywhere, the only laundry is mine, and my yoga mat stays out on the floor, rather than being tossed in a corner by Larry, who apparently hates the sight of it. Also, I've managed to watch quite a few chick flicks while he's been gone.
Of course, we haven't had any bats flying around the house. If we had, I'm sure I would have been missing my spouse a lot more.
Shit. Today is June 15, right? I think we are supposed to be attending an 18th birthday party 2 hrs up the road tonight and neither CK nor I have contacted the mother to politely decline. Shit and dbl bugger. We can' t go bc timings mean I have to hv one child 30 miles away for football (soccer) while at the same time getying the other one of to a "backwoods" Scout camp 10 ml in a completely different direction. All of this during what would have been travelling to party time. Feckitty bugger bugger. Strangely, feeling worse about this than ditching CK's nephew's wedding last week.
On the upside my girl got 7 new badges at Scouts this week, came home soooooo proud she was nearly bursting. I have ever said how much I LOVE Scouts? A very big lot.
The downside this week? Rain. Bloody bloody rain. Nearly all day just about everyday since the beginning of the month. Not little light English rain either nut bloody great big downpours that last forever. In the last six weeks the country has gone from being officially in drought conditions to flooding! Gaaaaaaaaah. Upside? We live on top of a very big hill.
Upside? My boy is/was CAptain for two cricket tournaments this past week. Downside? One was cancelled bc of rain and today's prob will be as well.
(does anyone else remember the 'That's good/No, that's bad' sketch? Must be from the 60s I think?)
Pls exvuse typos, am using stupid tablet thing.
My confession is:
The wife will pick strawberries,
I will make a pie.
My life, I know it,
Is a heavenly delight
Thanks to her presence.
Gary, that's a sweet little haiku.
My fourth placement choice for my internship next year (out of six) rejected me outright yesterday because I couldn't be IN Michigan to interview. I was angry for five minutes (really? I'm moving three states over this summer and am going to a SOCIAL WORK program in which I'll make 35k TOPS after I graduate), but then figured the universe must have another plan for me. But...could it just materialize soon? Please? I'm getting a little nervous here!
It's going to be a rainy, muggy day here. But on the upside we get to have Korean for dinner to celebrate Father's Day. To bulgogi!
Yesterday just sucked. Here's hoping today is better.
This is so "first world problems" that I'm almost embarrassed to even mention it. Almost. We are changing internet providers and what was supposed to be 3 days of using a personal hotspot while Company A "disconnected" and Company B "connected" has now stretched into 10. We're trying to stay under a data cap so we don't have to pay extra for the hotspot connection. So no videos and limited amount of time online since Husband needs it for work. And through it all I have not complained once. Husband has been worried and has been second guessing himself. I've been nothing but supportive. Even though it has been a complete PITA.
So on the one hand, I'm proud of myself for keeping my chin up and soldiering on and being the grown up. On the other -- oh good grief, it was a few days of limited internet access. You all can bust out your tiny violins now. :)
Oh Karen, unplug. Years ago, in the dark ages, my father took the TUBES ( I told you it was the dark ages) out of our TV. There was no other entertainment in our house, it was May, the tubes were put back in for football season. We had a whole summer of books, board games, cards and using our imagination. I remember it as a super Summer, my Mother, however, remembered it as the Summer from hell. Lots of whining going on I guess. Harder to unplug in this day and age, but maybe we would be better off if we did it one day a week all year.
God, what a stunning photo.
I'm thinking about my co-worker, AE, who's having ongoing concerns about her daughter and her grandchildren. Her daughter, N, has three children, two from her current boyfriend and one from an earlier relationship. She is unemployed, almost unemployable, using drugs, and in an abusive relationship.
AE is deeply concerned for her oldest grandson, who is now seven years old. N lives with the father of her younger children and his mother and sister. They live in Orange County, which is some 40-50 miles from where AE and her husband live. The boyfriend's mother and sister dote upon the two younger children, but disregard the older boy. The middle child is about two years old, and has serious behavior issues.
AE and her husband take the boy for weekend visits and outings, and pay for afterschool and summer programs for him. She wants to convince her daughter to let him live with her.
She'd hoped things would work out when N. decided to leave her boyfriend. AE and her husband moved her into their home - N and the three kids. They trucked her belongings up to LA. They babysat while N. went job-hunting. This went on for about two weeks. Then N. decided to go back to her boyfriend.
So AE is back wondering how she can help her grandson. I asked her about the other two kids, why she doesn't feel as much for them even though they're her grandkids too. She says it makes her feel guilty, but the other two kids have their dad and their other relatives, and the older boy only seems to have her. And she says at his age, he's vulnerable to getting into trouble.
AE is very resourceful, and will make such a big difference in her grandson's life. As for me - I hope to just be a good listener. I have no experience with problems like N's - drug addiction, welfare, abuse. I listen to AE's stories and just feel so grateful that my own son has made a better start of his life - and that relief makes me feel guilty - because what chance shone on me and mine, and not on her?
Oh, Karen - I experienced a similar thing with our son. He did not work summers. The junor/senior summer he attended a 10 week program and took some AP classes. The senior summer he and his friends went to Europe and wandered around (they planned the trip themselves over several months). Each of his summers between college, he procrastinated and dragged his feet and didn't get a job except one I almost pushed him into because I called in a favor from a connection. He worked for about two months and he hated it!
I really worried about him - by 21 he had a resume without any work history. But you know what? Now he has a full-time job in London, having worked on-call and volunteering there. And with England's unemployment, that's an accomplishment.
What I know about my son, what I knew about him since he was a baby is this - he won't do anything until he's ready. And when he's ready, he goes for it. And all my pushing doesn't help.
I understand the urge to push. And maybe your kids are different, and need the push. But step back for a moment and think about how they've approached other transitions in life. Maybe they're just not ready yet.
The freaking sun is out here in Seattle and that my friends is fucking awesome.
Confession: Nope. Still have not sent out the wedding invitations. But, I finally truly WANT to - feel energized and able to focus on some 'bliss'...so it will happen over next few days. Daughter situation is shifting and I'm taking some steps back to let things calm and to keep my sanity. Several of my nearest and dearest have finally been able to share with me their concern about how much I was losing it and not taking care of me. I can't take care of her if I lose myself. On Wednesday, I had both a mammogram and a cervical biopsy (both follow-ups to previous issues which have been benign.) Afterwards, a bad talk with my daughter that prompted a long overdue discussion with my beloved, who told me he was worried about losing 'me', followed that with a serious meltdown. After all that emotion, limped my weary ass and soul over to an incredibly expensive couple hours at a salon. Color, foils, massage, cut, gloss..and damn it, I DO feel better! Tomorrow I will go to my best friends' daughter's baby shower (her first grandchild) and with all sincerity wish her blessings on bringing another life to this crazy planet!
It has been a strange state of affairs around here. Shit hit the fan yesterday when a local newspaper in my Mexican hometown decided to publish a Father's Day edition-- with none other than a local father and son team posing in the Kalahari desert by the lion they had just killed.
The public is outraged. Angry. Beyond insulted. I wrote an open letter to these two men expressing my perspective, and it seems to have gone somewhat viral. It's a vulnerable spot, knowing that so many people are reading your thoughts.
The silver lining has been realizing that as a society Mexico is evolving, because a picture like this wouldn't have caused such a stir a few years ago. But today? People get it. And this gives me hope.
Thanks for your thoughts, Derfs. If TV was an issue, we would have unplugged it; however, none of us care to watch TV and it's my husband who plays the video games these days! He has given the young adult sons plenty of work to do around the house and yard. He also takes them to the gym to work out once a week. We raised them to be thrifty so they don't really spend money. Our self-starter doesn't get out of school for the summer until this afternoon. They know how to be good workers; I am worried that they don't know how to go job hunting and that they don't have the inner driving force to do it.
Aunt Snow, you may have zoomed in on one big issue: the oldest one crawled late and walked late, but when he finally got into motion, he did it as if he'd been doing it for a long time. He seems to wait until he is confident in his abilities to do well. (The other problem is that he has multiple commitments for his time this summer which has broken up his available time to work.) He earns money during the school year by tutoring other college students, and his degree will pay off handsomely in a few years.
Karen, one of the peculiarities of my son's journey is that he was very reluctant to ask for help from us. It's funny, because my husband is in the same field as my son, and yet our son won't ask for references. And I work in an industry that has a lot of opportunities for young people to get part-time, on-call work - and lots of connections to people who hire. Yet my son only reluctantly took the one job I almost railroaded him into.
But here's the funny thing - when he went to London he began working part-time on-call in exactly the same field that I was trying to connect him to in LA; and as for his current FT job, he got there via his academic connections in the same field he shares with his dad. I guess he just felt he had to do it on his own.
We're very proud of him. It sounds like you have every reason to be proud of your son - I know you are.
MEAK, please take good care of yourself. Aunt Snow, your friend is showing herself to be a harbor of love for her grandson and that has huge value.
I don't have answers -- just hugs.
My world is kinda shaping up here, the only difference, I have a new saying. "That isn't my deal." or "I don't know."
What is for dinner? I don't know.
What should I do tomorrow? That isn't my deal.
When will you be home from work? I don't know.
How do I fix this? That isn't my deal.
Magical. I am all kinds of bouncy.
And I bought more succulents at the store. I do not need them, but I don't care. Take that, guilt!
I had dinner with the ex-boyfriend. It was incredible. Reminded me of all the things I've been missing in my marriage that nothing (including counseling) has helped me find. I've been sticking with DH because I thought I deserved it. Ex told me I deserved more. I think he's right. Am implementing a five-year plan to get financial resources and other structures in place to escape. Now I just have to make it happen. No guilt -- I've tried for 13 years to make it work, and have the letters and receipts to prove it. Am terrified, sad, and so incredibly relieved I feel like I'm walking on clouds.
Ugh. That's all I've got. What a crapola day.
My job sucks, but I'm glad I have one to complain about.
I'm really pissed at my FIL right now. Our son has been going to FIL's house almost every day so far this summer, to swim and hang out with our nephews when they are over there visiting. The other day, my son told me that he was dreading going over to Pa-pa's house, because he's in such a bad mood all the time. My husband's grandfather lives with my FIL, and at 90 years old, he's got some pretty serious health issues, and what looks more and more like dementia. GFIL and FIL fight like cats and dogs. They're both a couple of spoiled brats, and the other day they upset the kiddo when they told him to 'stop that damned giggling', and 'you sound like a girl when you laugh'. NOT COOL. My husband is going to talk to his dad about it, because honestly, if I did, it would get ugly fast.
But tonight, I'm putting that aside to find a nice quiet spot and veg out! Happy weekend, Derfs!
I've been planning our trip back to the States for four months. We're supposed to leave Monday. Now a fucking typhoon is wreaking havoc on my travel plans and is poised to strike just as our plane is about to take off. I know, there are bigger things to worry about in the world, but I just want to get off this damn island for a little while. There's no place like home, right?
Pray that this typhoon veers a little to the right into open water. I'm not totally selfish-- don't want anyone else to get screwed by this thing either.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Karen, thanks...I'm working at it. Wishing everyone a great weekend!
Hugs to all, those struggling and those not. I just wanted to let you know I will keep the confessional open while I'm traveling, but all other regular features will be suspended for five weeks. Don't worry, you won't mind. If I have wi-fi, I will be posting daily. I will check my email at least once a day--again, unless I'm without wi-fi.
Hang tough!
Mrs. G., I'm so excited for your trip. Have a wonderful time.
Once again, I'm suspending my blather to wish the rest of the Derfs the strength and hugs they need. My outrage meter got fried due to politics, and I fell into a vat of martinis as a defense mechanism. Needless to say, I am not a highe- level philosopher at the moment. If anyone needs an emotional, rambling, bleeding heart... I am available.
Mrs. G, good luck and God speed on your trip. Have a good time on your adventure. Wi-fi is available in many places so, I can't wait to read your roadie posts.
Hey Cardinal - Can you come over and play?
Annie, my travel cocktail shaker is always ready!
Sounds like unplugging is a bit of a theme this summer! I took my boys on an unplugged holiday week before last and they didn't DIIIEE as they thought they would. We had such a nice time!
Best of luck on your journey Mrs. G! And love to all the Derfs. I wish I could hop across the ocean and join in the fun!
Important stuff.
I have to run a session on bullying tomorrow because there was a nasty incident. It makes me sad that young girls learn about the unpleasant stuff life can throw at them the hard way.
...and of course that other girls, that 1%, don't know better. Damn!
Trivial Stuff
I can't buy my favourite scrapbooking magazine this month...because there is a spelling mistake on the front cover.
On. The. Front. Cover.
No, I can't get over it.
It will drive me mad. I will want to circle the mistake and mail it back to them...or rip the front cover off.
Yes, I may belong to the spelling police.
Please don't read this comment again looking for spelling errors. I think I'm paranoid enough already.
Just do me a favour. When you want to call someone stunning, don't spell it stuning.
'nuff said.
Derwady stuff
Good luck Mrs G! Safe travels.
Remember that short is the road that leads to a friend. (I may have made that up, but it sounds about right.)
Have a wonderful and safe trip Mrs. G. May it be life changing for you in all the ways you want it to be and only those ways. I am sorry I can't attend an event but am looking forward to reading all about it. Enjoy!
See you at Gary's, Mrs. G. Have a safe, fun trip!!!!
Have a very safe trip! And I can't wait to meet you!
Deb, def contact them and let them know they lost a sale bc of poor editing. I hold the rank of Sgt in the Grammar Police.
My confession: it's not the big stuff that's getting to me. Yeah, more big crap is happening, but at this point it's just take a number, get in line, and we'll get to you eventually. It's all the little shit that's driving me nuts, that's making me lose it. And I KNOW it's little shit, cosmically and financially insignificant, but it's like having a rock in your shoe you can't get rid of.
Mrs. G, I watched your movie. If it helps any, I don't think you're the only one who's a little apprehensive. But I figure we can all show up and be scared together, and probably change that with the help of some margaritas or wine or whatever.
Hey Derfs! My daughter has come home from Scout Camp this weekend having WON the regional Scout-Off. This means she and her team are representing the North of our county (=State) at the Banner Competition. The best bit? When I turned up unexpectedly on Sat a.m. she looked positively sparkly she was having such a great time. Yes I am that proud mother.
Yay, proud mom, Trash!
TC, I'm not anxious about meeting everyone. I'm anxious about being away from home for so long, which means I am not in control of my universe (as if I am). I've met enough derfs to know the meeting part is going to be a blast. Sure, it's a little weird at first, but it usually takes less than five minutes for the ice to be broken!
Safe travels, Mrs. G! I can't wait to hear all of your road stories and to see you next weekend! It will be EPIC!!
It's hot and muggy today and I don't feel like doing a thing. So I'm not. I finished up some curtains I was making for my bedroom and that's it. I've been spending the day on Pin(your butt to the chair)terest and watching movies on TCM. This is all I'm capable of today, I think!
Mrs. G. hits the road TOMORROW!! I'm a little bit excited.
Sending good travel juju to you, Mrs. G. Can't wait to see your smiling mug. Am laying in a supply of Tanqueray, tonic and limes. Bon Voyage.
Can I call "bullshit" for Mrs. G turning off comments to her movie????? I laughed out loud....agreed....said "Right On Sista" too many times to comment...and we didn't even have a chance to cheer her on on the biggest night of the Derf YEAR for Pete's sake!!!! I'm so excited for you Mrs. G for doing this....will move heaven and earth to try and meet up...just want to be able to "talk" and you closed comments!!! Booooo! (but in a lovely, sweet and caring way!....I'm not really scolding, just wanted to be able to "talk"). It is 12:00 AM....the first day....(here in MI)....and I'm so excited for you! If I can't make it, I'll be like many other derf's....we just want to hear about it! So in the end....I don't have any right to bitch about not being able to "talk". Sorry!
Dear Mrs. G.
I'm not anxious about meeting everyone. I'm anxious about being away from home for so long, which means I am not in control of my universe (as if I am).
Back in 1995, when my son was about 6 years old, I said YES to an opportunity to travel for work, for some 3 -5 days every 10 weeks or so.
It turned into five years worth of work, sometimes only a couple of days, but sometimes a month or more. I was responsible for stuff that was pretty important within the narrow confines of my job. It gave me the chance to see and learn about so many American cities, it still informs me about the places I went. I am so grateful I was offered the chance. I am so grateful to my family that they gladly let me go.
On these journeys, my work was the most important thing, and the travel experience was secondary. On the other hand, just going to these places gave me experiences that I will never forget.
You are not going for work,, but you are still going on an adventure of your choosing. Your family is happily letting you have this adventure. Never regret. Don't fear. Experience it. Make the most of it.
Go Mrs G. Team Derfwad salutes you.
@Trash--I'm so happy for you and your daughter! That's terrific!