Friday
Jul272012
Full Confessional Friday
Friday, July 27, 2012 at 5:44PM Mrs. G. 
Sound of the Sea by Christian Book
Be it Venial or Mortal (there's no escaping Original), we've all got secrets -- light, dark, funny, sad -- worth bringing to light. The act of confession can be liberating, mollifying and entertaining. Contrition? Repentance? A shot of Tequila? That's your call, sister.
tagged Full Confessional Friday
Full Confessional Friday
Reader Comments (63)
On vacation and loving it already. I was overdue.
Have a great time Leslie!
Arrgghhh me hearties, it'd take more than a single shot of tequila but basically what's on my mind today is my abject failure to successfully chase a man. It's been so long since i even gave it a whirl that i'm totally bottling it, as we say in Blighty and talking myself out of the first stages, even. Let alone the next phases.
Need to get me some confidence going on and then make a quasi casual attempt to land those fine eyes for myself to gaze into on a semi regular basis.
Peace out. I'm off to Cuernavaca, City of Eternal Spring, to work on my game face, etc, etc
Her Imperial...work that game, woman. My understanding "game" is in the use it or lose it category. Good luck!
Herimperialmajesty: why bother? All of us men are sh!ts.* If I was a woman I'd get a puppy ;) And a kitten!
Patricia, a derf from central NY here at our Mrs G meetup 2 weeks ago had major surgery this week. We gotta send her our best wishes. I hope she is recovering well and this is the end of her cancer and treatment!
*Except for maybe Paul Dano, the young actor, but he is taken. the NY Times said he is like Woody Allen, except more handsome!
It's been a while since I posted anything. And I have some good and bad news: the good news is my horse came through her eye surgery alright. It may sound strange to some people, but she means a lot to me. The bad news is that my grandmother had a brain scan and she has reduced brain activity. On the one hand this shocks me. Afterall it is my grandmother and in some twisted way you/I always think they will never get hurt or die. On the other hand, it is a confirmation of what we already knew. She has severe problems with walking and her mental capacity is teriorating rapidly. As I'm not living close by... well you know.
My confession for today: I'm sick and tired of my job, but I don't have the energy to search for something different. It pays the bills, but that's all. It irritates me that I don't take the time and effort to improve my job. It's 32 hours every week!
I know my 'problems' are minor compared to others. So I sent all my love and best wishes to everyone here who needs them.
Patricia, I hope the surgery went well and that the recovery will be speedy and painless! Thinking of you.
Well, I can see I am in the right place! I'm right there with HerImperialMajesty regarding man chasing and in a similar situation with Sheep in the jobs department. ~ My other struggle this week: Why do some kids have to learn everything on their own, the hard way? This week Critter is dealing with a betrayal and it's taking every ounce of my self control to not say to her "If you had listened to me..." Ugh!
Mrs. G- ask Leslie why she did not take me with her , but instead took her beautiful , wonderful, kind and generous daughter along.
Sisters!
I had a week of ups and downs and let someone get under my skin.
Shake it off and move on- there will always be one no matter what you do.
And sometimes there will always be two...
Moving on because in the big picture these are not big worries.
For you others lot's of hugs from Hugs galore!
Thinking of you, Patricia and hoping all went well. Speedy recovery!
Best wishes to all who need them, even those who wouldn't ever ask for them.
Co worker is starting a really nasty divorce. It's going to be ugly in more ways than one, and since everyone in the office is related except for me, it puts an emotional strain on the whole office. It makes me tired! I wish her spouse was not acting like such a jerk because she is really a sweet person -and I wish she had a streak of mean in her that would let her fight for what she wants. It's complicated and hard to watch, and makes my job harder because even when she's there....she's not. It's almost easier on the days she's not there.
My brother, his wife, and their kids are coming for a visit this coming week. I'm so excited,but since my brother has never visited me anywhere, ever, I'm not sure what to expect - do they want everything planned? Nothing Planned? Arrgghhh. And one of their kids is a fairly picky eater....yikes again. Still, I'm happy they are coming!
Patricia, many good wishes are going your way for a complete, speedy recovery.
Sheep, no comparisons are necessary. We all have stuff to deal with, big and small. All cares and worries are valid.
I'm settling my mother's estate and discovered she was very generous to one grandchild. She always played favourites. I'm getting on with it and completing the necessary paperwork but it stirred up old hurts and grievances in my heart. I'm dumping it here because I don't want to create new grievances by airing this publicly. My kids have lovely memories of their grandmother and I don't have it in me to spoil them. But I wish I could ask what the hell she was thinking.
@HerImperialMajesty, don't listen to Gary! All men are not shits. And anyway, half the fun is the chase. Just remember, some day you'll be dead. Your grave stone won't have a thing on it about how you fucked up trying to ask a guy out. GO FOR IT.
@Patricia, I hope you're recovering well!
@c, that's a wise decision. I think it would hurt your kids more than it would make you feel better to find something out like that. After much probing, my mother once pointed out my grandparent's preferential treatment toward one set of cousins over me and my sister. I wished I hadn't asked. You're doing them a favor.
My body is really pissing me off this week. I'd been feeling not great all weekend, got carsick on the way home from my grandpa's house (very unusual for me) and continued to feel poorly Monday. Then Tuesday I woke up and thought I was dying...lightheaded, dizzy, nauseous, body aches, ridiculously tired. Figured out (or I thought) it was iron deficiency. Took an iron pill and felt 100% Wed and Thurs. Now this morning I'm awake with a headache. Constipated (both from the iron pill) and feeling lightheaded again. Grrrrr!! Maybe it's stress induced? But I just don't feel super stressed about the move. Maybe I'm in denial. Oh...who knows. I just want to snap my fingers and feel healthy again.
Tomorrow we load up for a little family road trip. I really, really wish it was just my husband and me. Not sure how I will handle my step kids, or the constant stress of my daughter gone to her dads for summer. Just wishing for an actual break. I think I will just refrain from handling it all. I will have my own agenda to fall back on in case of...no communication, disinterest in general, or attitude. Bring books, sketching materials, and my walking shoes.
Y'all are a great bunch out there!
Sheep, a horse is just as much a member of the family as anyone. I hope it goes well.
Her Imperial - you go, girl!
I am both resigned and pissed off at the powers-that-be at work. The future of my workplace depended on an ambitious plan for a public-private partnership and a massive publicly-funded facility renovation. Even with the economic crisis, it looked as though it were going forward. Our staff of 35 had been told it would be reduced to 11 - and I was part of the 11, thankfully. During the renovation, the 11 of us would be given tasks related to the re-opening, and also farmed out to other departments. This makes sense only if the building were to begin operations again after renovation.
Well, we just learned that the state was taking back the funding. No renovation for us. No renovation means no public-private partnership, which means no future.
The powers that be claim to be "seeking alternative funding" and "determining alternate scenarios." They say that during the transition process, the 11 jobs are safe - but I know better. How do you find alternative funding of $47 million in 12 months?
The planned closure is still scheduled. If there isn't going to be ongoing renovation and re-tooling after the closure, there's no reason to retain the 11 jobs. Even if the renovation funding is found, it will push the construction plans YEARS into the future, and there's no need to retain the 11 jobs.
I'm faced with hopefully optimistic co-workers who say things like, "Well, they'll need to keep us on, because where do you find staff who know so much about the operation?"
I don't want to rain on anyone's parade, but....bullshit. Our jobs won't last past June 30, 2013. Face it.
The powers that be are too frightened of incurring bad employee morale to be honest with us. It pisses me off.
Meeting with my "life coach" in a couple hours - must turn this negative energy into positive.
It's done. Or maybe begun. Last night as I turned out the light to go to sleep, my husband asked if I wanted a divorce. I told him yes. We had quite a conversation. He wasn't angry, just desperately sad and hurt. Among other things he said he won't support me, but he won't try to stop me. He's worried about the financials. He is worried about the impact on the kids. He doesn't think this will make me happy.
More than anything I wanted to reach out and comfort him. I felt so sad, especially when he said he didn't know what would become of him, since he doesn't like who he is, and that maybe privately he always expected this. He tried a few very manipulative moves - saying he doesn't know if he wants to live through this, that he had to thank me now for the 15 best years of his life because he knows he'll never be this happy again, that this will be terrible for the kids. I listened, but restrained myself from reaching out, apologizing, and offering to try again. I also didn't react to his statements that maybe we still can pull this out of the fire, even though they made me mad. I have been trying! He's had fair warning - at least twice.
I was surprised that he wasn't angry. I think that will come, and when it does it will be fearsome. For now, I'm glad I'm headed out of town for the weekend. He needs time to think. I need time to breathe.
And -- at the same time as all of this -- I talked to my old university and they have agreed to let me finish the one single course I need to complete my BA, which puts me only a year away from a teaching license. Lots of forward motion, but I'm a little seasick right now. Fortunately I have a 5 hour drive today to a long-planned reunion, and it'll be 5 hours back on Monday, both of which give me lots of time to cry.
Not sure what the timeline will be, now. Not sure even what next week will bring. Am sad, and relieved, and terrified and really, really tired.
Hugs galore to you all, and many thanks for all your support.
I need a vacation and some serious alone time. For the first time since my kids were born, I think I might have carved out a week in early August. One kid at Grandma's, the other just turned 18 and ok at home alone. Husband is won't notice my absence as long as he has clean underwear. I even have a little secret money saved up.
I'm trying to figure out where to go and could use some suggestions. I live in central Indiana and driving to northern Indiana to drop child at grandma's. Would love to be near water or something beautiful. Just want place to relax, read, think. Not interested in shopping or sightseeing. Anybody have ideas? Have heard that Benton Harbor and Saugatuk Michigan are nice and both are on the water. anyone been there and could recommend a hotel? I would also be open to other ideas.
Despite Mrs. G's traveling courage, I'm finding myself feeling a little chicken about this lone adventure, but desperation makes us move outside our comfort zone, right?
Oh, Ilyanna. How brave of you. And I am impressed how you manage to maintain empathy for your husband while still not allowing him to change your resolve.
Good luck to you. I don't remember how old your kids are - how this will affect them.
Do you know what your living plan is going to be yet? Let us know if you need any support/help/hugs.
ANNA:: I have the PERFECT place for you. South Haven Michigan. I am TELLING you girl, it's the best. B&Bs, miles of beach, just do it.
I did a "Mama's gonna lose it if she doesn't get away from you all" weekend there a few years ago. Blisss......
1Les - enjoy it!!
HerImperial - go get a man. I've had the same model since the 80's and he's still in great working order. I highly recommend one.
Sheep - I hope everything works out well for your horse. My beloved golden had to have eye surgery and it was hard on me too.
nahvelo - I know what you mean about it being easier when she's not there. :) I feel that way about some of my co-workers some days too.
c - I think that's a wise decision!
auntsnow - I work for the state and so I understand your job situation. It can get very scary. I wish the best for you.
ilyanna - Wow! You do have lots to think about. How do you feel about it now?
My confession is a little selfish. I've been working really hard since April to lose weight. I've dropped almost 20 pounds. I'm finally in a size small pants. But I'm sad/hurt/miffed that nobody has noticed my weight loss. I know I'm morbidly obese, so it may not show up as fast as in a thinner person, but a little recognition would be nice. Harumph....
Anna: did a bit of research. The place I stayed (verrrry close to the beach) was http://www.yeltonmanor.com/welcome.html
Hugs, good vibes, special Johnny Depp Mojo coming to all Derfs for a great weekend.
I have one little bitch but it's driving me absolutely f-ing crazy. Why, why, why do expensive technology gadgets (in this case, a portable recording device) no longer come with ANY instructions. Not everything is an apple product that is designed so well as to be used intuitively upon plugging in. Not only do I have a recording thingy that I have absolutely NO idea how to properly use, but the accompanying program that I had to download onto my computer to edit and burn the recorded tracks to a disc for an audition ALSO has NO instructions.
I know I'm getting to be "of that age" where maybe I'm not as tech savvy as I once was but is it too much to expect some sort of instructions to be included for basic use when you've just spent hundreds of bucks? GRRRRRRRR!
I'm off to the wonderful world of google.....
Oh, and Gary...what gives? While I don't agree that most men are sh*ts, I will say that almost everyone I know male or female can be improved by the addition of a puppy and/or kitten. Happy weekend one and all.
@ilyanna: It's the first step necessary to achieve that future you want, and that first step is always the toughest. It takes a lot of strength, which I know you have, and you know us Derfs are here for you ever step of the way.
@Patricia: I hope you recover with all due haste!
@Her Imperial: I have no doubt that if you go for it, you're going to do fine. Bravery feeds on itself.
As for me...same ol', same ol'. We have a new roof, still waiting on gutters. I'm writing this while the car is in the shop with one of those annoying intermittent problems (and a 15K service). The situation with my father is not getting better, to be both blunt and vague, and I don't know what we're going to do. I wish there was some kind of manual for this kind of situation. And I wonder if I'm really going to get that vacation I've been finally starting to research.
Sheep, I'm glad your horse came through. I'm really sorry about your grandmother. I hope you find the courage (and energy!) to look for a more satisfying job. In the meantime, at least you have one--I've always found it's easier to find a job when you have one.
Patricia, sending warm thoughts you way. I hope you are hanging in and on the mend. Let us know how you are when you can. xoxo
Annie, I know, right?
Meredith, who got under your skin? Let me at 'em.
navhelowife, enjoy your visit with your brother!
c, that sucks. I would probably keep that one to myself. But what WAS she thinking?
Jessie, I hope you feel better soon. Get thee to a doctor if you continue to feel lightheaded.
Molly, your plan sounds like a good one. Hang tough.
Aunt Snow, you and Sheep need to job hunt together. I worry about your stress load at that job.
Ilyanna, whoa. Good for you for being honest and I'm glad you both were able to have a good discussion about the impending changes. I hope things continue to go peacefully at your home, particularly for the small fry.
Anna, you go woman. Good for you for recognizing you need some time ALONE. Kate's suggestion sounds pretty cool. I hope whatever you do it's relaxing and restorative. Once you get there, I suspect you will not be nervous, but rather in heaven. Let us know how it goes.
Mary Alice, your ass looks great in those pants!!!!
Claudia, find a teenager to help you out. I swear it works every time. Make them cookies for IT help!
TC, I hope you get that vacation because, lord knows, you deserve it.
@ Patricia- sending lots of love and light and healing thoughts your way! Hope you're feeling better soon!
@Ilyana- You are so strong. I'm sure there will be some tough days ahead for you, but what you're doing takes a lot of courage. Hang in there. We've got your back!
@ Jessie- are you still feeling yucky? Get thee to a doctor, woman!
Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by how much we all care about each other here. There needs to be more of this in the world- people reaching out and letting someone know that they care. You all are truly wonDERFul!
Speaking of wonDERFul, the Olympics start tonight! Can't wait for men's swimming! Have a great weekend, everyone!
Want to start by sending good juju out to all the Derfs. Hugs and kisses to you all.
Mary Alice I know a lady who lost 200 pounds. No one noticed till she lost the first 100. 20 pounds is a real accomplishment and you should be super proud of yourself.
I confess that I thought I was pregnant with baby #5 but I am not and I am much more disappointed about that than I ever thought I would be.
Realtor coming this week to give us a market analysis. I have had an eye on a house a few blocks away that would be perfect for us. I hope we can move, but I know we will be where we need to be -wherever we are. Would appreciate prayers/good juju about this situation.
Love yas!
Thanks, Kate in Michigan, for suggesting South Haven. I've been looking at it on the web and you were right...it does look perfect for what I want. The hotel you mentioned is just beautiful too. Thanks for you help! I'm getting excited about this now.
Thanks for the encouragement, Mrs. G!
Love to all you derfs. Amy G, hugs on finding out that it wasn't #5, that really really hurts. Anna, yay for finding a place via Derfdom, how cool is that?!
Kinda spinning on the edge of panic here for the last few weeks, trying to figure out where to move to, have given notice to the landlord for Oct 1 but no place to live yet. Going to scout upstate early next week (hudson valley/catskills) to find a *cheap* 2 bedroom rental to get us through the winter, but close enough to let my husband come back to nyc for work for a week here and there. Having all the balls in the air is scary, and I know I'll look back 6 months from now and wonder how I ever worried, but it's damn unsettling to not really know anything but still have to be out of here in 10 weeks. Trying to get my boys (and husband) to stop buying/finding crap to bring home when we have to majorly downsize, it's maddening! They'll be forced to sleep on those Nerf guns for a few days I think.
My 92-year-old neighbor was really upset when I told him yesterday that we were moving. He's become a delight in my week, and I'll miss his stories and wisdom. Just found out yesterday his dad was one of the "sandhogs" that helped dig the Holland Tunnel, and that his tonsil surgery in 1925 cost him 50 cents! I can take his stories with me though, and I think that's what it's about ... gathering stories wherever we are, and moving on when we know it's time to go.
Hugs all around.
I am pissed off, hurt, offended... you name it ... after seeing a post from my sis in law stating she is planning to attend Chick Fil-A Appreciation Day — on August 1 ... knowing full well her nephew (my son) is gay. So you feel you need to attend this event? Don't post it on FB knowing I'm going to read it.
(Although really should not be surprised that the first political involvement I see out of her involves a fast food restaurant.)
Still, it's really hard maintaining loving family relations when someone takes a stand that will prevent your child from enjoying the same rights as all Americans. Sad day.
cy, that is so unbelievably thoughtless and mean spirited. The next time she came over to my home, it would be decked out in rainbow flags and my family would be dressed in drag. Your SIL is a twit.
And, you're right, it's mystifying (and strangely humorous) that processed chicken patties have riled up the anti-gay marriage act masses.
Totally petty vent here: The Professor was out of town for two weeks with his not dying father and returned on Monday. And, I got my damn period on Sunday! There has been no hot welcome home sex and as far as I can tell there won't be until tomorrow night. How is this fair?!
I know, I have such problems but I seriously need to get my groove on.
@mary alice - HOW can you fit in a size small pair of pants and be "morbidly obese"? Did I read that wrong? And 20 pounds is awesome! I know, because I have lost the same 20 pounds 3 times now. Hopefully, this time it will stick.
Claudia and my other friends: OK, of COURSE not all men are sh!ts, take ME for example! I am probably the nicest and most handsome man to ever walk the planet ;)...but of course, I am TAKEN, by a princess.... So is Paul Dano, as I was saying. Who does that leave? A lot of dudes who are delightful, handsome, charming, and GAY, or the boatloads of guys who given a choice between their pickup and their wife would choose their pickup. ;)
And in other news, still basking in the magical glow of Mrs G's visit, I mean, GOSH, look at how that lady brings together like-minded strangers!
For the past couple of weeks, hubby and I have not been 'clicking'. It's like we are this vortex of critical words and feelings, spiraling ever deeper into discontent. We talk about the expectations each has for the other and realize they are too high and unrealistic -- and yet hopes and dreams are tied up with those expectations. We're committed and we still love each other but sometimes marriage is damn hard work.
Cy -- Ugh. I'm so sorry as this is particularly horrible. At this point, I think it's perfectly acceptable to demean and humiliate her in public. Plan carefully. Do this in conversation and only you and she need know, in the midst of others. Has she a soft spot? Because I guess our children are our soft spots, and anyone who can't even hold her tongue out of respect for yours isn't worth your time and energy any more.
Anon, I know exactly what you are describing. Keep breathing.
Watching the opening of the Olympic Games -- impressive stuff, but I think I'm old because if I was there in person, I would have a raging headache from all those flashing lights.
Patti, I hope you are able to enjoy the festivities tonight on TV. This surgery is an exciting step in your return to health. Wishing you a quick recovery. ♥
CY, I agree with Minnesota Matron. Bring on the righteous indignation.
Aunt Snow.... I'm so sorry. Perhaps this is the universe's way of saying you should go ahead and become a food and travel writer. You truly are gifted!
To all those who are going through rough times, sending you Hugs Galore!
Suburban Correspondent, you and I have a similar experience, at least in 2012. Mary Alice, you are looking FABULOUS! :)
My son is getting married next Saturday and while I haven't lost the additional 20 pounds that I originally planned on losing (again, 2012 not doing so well), I'm pleased with NOT gaining back the 40 pounds I shed in 2011.
Anon, also eat some peanut M&Ms or a king-sized Snicker bar. I find it helps.
Mrs. G. don't take this the wrong way but it seems to me you have been phoning in your blog lately. Have you considered quitting while you are still sort of on top? If I'm being honest the blog is pretty boring these days. I hate to see you flounder after such a good run. Just my 2 cents. Don't attack me.
Really, W? "don't take this the wrong way" and "Don't attack me" but you have no trouble taking a swipe at Mrs. G? What's that all about?
We play nice here at the Manor. Or hadn't you noticed?
If you are bored, you are welcome to move on... no one is forcing you to read this blog. You are free to choose what to read, but do not expect to have someone else write a blog solely for YOUR entertainment.
I am a lurker who feels compelled to mention that Mrs. G. has improved my life by showing me that taking chances pays off. She also makes me feel less embarrassed about being overweight since she's so upfront about her struggle. She just blogged 30 plus days about the trip of a lifetime so I'm not sure what kind of content you are looking for. We are a community here and if you don't like it, please leave. Don't shove your issues onto our fearless leader. No offense, but you are rude and self centered. Have you checked out the blog Dooce. She might be more up your alley. Leave us be here.
Mrs. G, shake it off.
Also, sometimes the confessional and mancake are what get me through the week. Better than alcohol and drugs. Be gone.
WHOA, Mrs. G's world tour is boring, she should retire? I find that she is still the saucy hussy she has always been.... and, not attacking or anything, but I didn't know that our former (incompetent) president was a regular reader....
I agree W, be gone!
My dear, sweet brother (one of the good ones, Gary) just emailed me yesterday to say he has separated from second wife. He is the nicest guy (I am somewhat biased, of course), but seems to pick the women who are wrong for him. He is a good provider, but not an overly ambitious "my career is my life" kind of guy (picks the kids up from school, makes their dinners) and both of these women have ended up being like that and demanded more ambition than I think he has or is comfortable with. He blames himself. There are kids from both marriages. The kicker is that he is "over the Pond" in England far from family love and support. It's hard to reach out by phone and email when you want to hug somebody.
Good weekends and strength to all.
Anon- Marriages go through cycles.My
and I have been married for 33 years. There have been times when it's like 2 strangers sharing a too- small apartment. We get through those times by trying to steer clear of each other
while remaining kind and respectful.
I've been away from him for 2 weeks because of an illness and death in my family and I miss him so much I could cry.
Speaking of death in the family...my aunt was a lifelong diabetic who ignored her health and consequently died too
young. She was only 12 years older than I am. For a few years I was mad at her and frustrated that she could have lived longer if she had taken care of herself.Now I'm just sad but her death has motivated me to fight my diabetes and live to be a
very old woman!
Peace, love and good vibes to everyone. I agree heartily on the "marriage goes through cycles" comment. As long as they include cycling up as well as down, you'll make it.
@Gary, you know that I steer away from politics, but you just cracked me up! Imagining #43 reading Derfwad Manor and snorting...
@Cynthia, I'm with you; this community keeps me sane and even-keel, even on the roughest of days.
@LMSS, I'm proud of you for turning frustration and anger into something positive for your own health. Way to go!