fair and balanced reporting of the last five vacuous "disagreements" that have gone down in this house
1) Whether a door propped open about 1 foot with a bar stool provides more fresh, cool air than a door propped open about three feet with a card table. Mrs. G. isn't going to say who tried to inject physics and meteorology into the heated discussion, because she isn't that kind of spouse, and because she thinks the probability is fairly high that most of you know who in this marriage frequently just makes shit up.
2) Whether a six foot cardboard Johnny Depp cut out belongs in the vacant corner in their dining room. Mr. G. says no. Mrs. G. swore on metaphorical stack of bibles that the six foot cardboard Johnny Depp cut out would, beyond question, inspire her to cook more often..
Mr. G: So, you're telling me putting this six foot cardboard cut out of Johnny Depp in our dining room would inspire you to cook more?
Mrs. G: That's exactly what I'm telling you.
Mr. G: You are a liar.
Mrs. G: I know, but I still think it would look really good there.
3) How come it's OK to complain about the rain but not OK to complain about the heat. This one is still ongoing. It is difficult living with the arbiter of legitimate, benign complaints, the ruling umpire of bona fide laments. Ongoing.
4) Whether it is a moral failure to scrape the gross remains on your plate into the sink and not follow through by shoving them down the down the garbage disposal, so the next person who comes along doesn't have to. It is.
5) Whether a belt is a utilitarian tool or an instrument of fashion.
Mr. and Mrs. G...just sitting here on the couch waiting for a couple of those Genius Grants.