Thursday
Aug162012
Full Confessional Friday!
Thursday, August 16, 2012 at 11:22PM Mrs. G. 
Photo by mikebaird
Be it Venial or Mortal (there's no escaping Original), we've all got secrets -- light, dark, funny, sad -- worth bringing to light. The act of confession can be liberating, mollifying and entertaining. Contrition? Repentance? A shot of Tequila? That's your call, sister.
tagged Full Confessional Friday
Full Confessional Friday
Reader Comments (70)
My 19yo returns to college tomorrow, and I am very happy about his departure!
At the same time, I am anxious over what this second year will bring. I worry that he will flunk out (that was the direction he was heading when he came home for the summer) but I'm trying to think positively and hope that he will surprise his parents and succeed.
Good luck KC! I noticed in the wedding pictures that everybody, including him, was, um, wearing shoes....and I was wondering if bribes or threats had been involved with the 19 YO.....
I have much to confess as I have been bad all week: Tuesday, as I blogged and noted here, I was nekkid in a room with 2 women not my wife.....well, the doctor and a medical student.....and you DO have to wonder why examining my ankle involved stripping off my clothes and wearing a johnny, but I s'pose I was merely a SPECIMAN in their clinical eyes....
I will also confess that last night I was driving away from the beer store and the realized the dude had undercharged me 5 bucks....and it felt A LOT like rolling sevens in Monopoly and hitting the right orange card ;)
And finally? I confess I was VERY cross at midnight last night when the wife and the cat we next to me in bed having a LOUD cuddle session....Spike is super friendly, and he and Mrs G here ALSO had the cuddle sessions in that same bed, but good GOD ALMIGHTY can't it wait till morning? The wife is so sweet and tenderhearted...but she can be sweet after breakfast next time....
I'm peeved at my cousin (who's also my roommate) for not doing anything around the house. And as lame as it sounds I realized that I have allowed his laziness to directly affect (or is it effect) my productivity as well.
I'm having ankle surgery next Wednesday and will have to be all but bed ridden for the 6 weeks following. Fortunately my parents came over last night and helped me get jump started on some tasks around the house and are coming over again tonight to help me finish getting the house in order so that I can follow the Dr.'s orders (which will be the first time ever.)
The only good part of last night was telling my cousin that due to his laziness he was dragging me down as well so he needed to get his act together. He shook his head and turned on his Xbox... It made me want to scream but at least he knows that I'm p'od off at him for being lazy. And I can be thankful that I have amazing parents that are helping me.
It will also help that I bought some artwork for the living room that I know he will hate but I love it so I bought it anyways and I'm hanging it while he is gone today. :)
we finally realized after much soul searching that a lawyer would be the best way to deal with the brother.
We are taking the steps to either collect rent or sell the house.
No matter what we all say about lawyers there are times that you really need them.
Otherwise I am getting to old to remember to complain most of the time.
There are little things but they are minor right now.
I am send Hugs galore to the rest of you who might be struggling at this time.
Looking for rainbows and butterflies...gag... and I am really becoming that person?
It's SUMMER so any miffs, annoyances etc fade with the sun. I am sure in the dark of january I will find plenty to be PO'd about!
Hey Meredith, I'd start worrying when you add unicorns into the mix!
Hugs to all......try to get outside and enjoy the day...............*s*
I confess that even though I had a very, very nice summer with the kids, it was soul nourishingly quiet this week as they started back to school. And today I'm going to meet my bff from high school for coffee and antique/junk shop roaming. We live about an hour and a half apart but make it a point in our busy schedules to meet halfway every couple of months to catch up. Happiness.
I think my ear has finally stopped aching after two weeks, a round of steroids and a round (still currently taking) of antibiotics.
We have new windows on the back part of our house, I think it will make a HUGE difference in heating, cooling, and bug control.
I am facing some hard decisions about church and my role there - nothing really earth shattering, just hard for me. THey are taking their chidlren's ministry in a direction I completely disagree with, and so much so that I can't be involved. That sounds really dramatic, but it is more a theological direction and the decision to have an entirely separate children's service - not family service, just children's service during the 'regular" worship services. After 20 years of being involved in various children's ministries at various churches, this is the first time I will not have that. I know it is the right decision but it is also heartbreaking.
Oh Tonya Lyn, wow! Shoot, ankles, dang, we need them, but sheesh, yep, small and vulnerable down there and sooo painful sometimes...best wishes!
On Tuesday I wanted to rant!!! Today, not so much. Time really does take care of everything. Sleep helps too.
To all the Derfs who have real problems, I send out hugs and good wishes.
To Meridith. I think our ages are about the same, and as we age we do become that person. I don't think it is so bad and it sure helps the blood pressure. And do we really want to be that passionate, drama-filled 20 something girl again (maybe you weren't her, but I sure was)? I don't, I barely survived the first time.
Have a good weekend all.
Good god, is it Friday again? This week has flown past. I'm in a weird place right now. I didn't like being a kid and so I have no golden-tinted memories I wish I could step inside of again. The last few years were pretty good, but we spent them working for THIS. But now my parents have gone and I'm sad about that. Surely it'll all be better when school start and there's more to do than put up more shelves and walk to the park. Not that I'm ungrateful, just a little impatient!
@Mere we obviously need to talk! But it's going to have to wait until I have my voice back. I have something nasty going on in my throat and head. No fever, but painful, sore throat, stuffed up sinuses and a stupid head (i.e. too clogged up to think properly) still going on. Maybe I can sleep it off...
Getting to see the kid and meet the new boyfriend this weekend. All going to see Old Crow Medicine Show, an oldie but a goodie.
Going out to the apple orchard to pick skanky looking, but good tasting apples on Saturday. Picked some last week and made a terrific apple crisp. (Oh and they look skanky because we don't spray and nature just has its way with them. After you get off the funky spotted peel the meat of the apple is just fine.)
Nothing earth shattering for me...just wish I felt better. Happy weekend derfs. Wishing you health and happiness.
One week from now we will be moving our firstborn into his dorm. Gulp. Unless we decide to keep him home. Yeah, I'm leaning towards that.
School starts Monday for us. We've got all the supplies, the laptop set up and ready to roll. My son is excited about it, finally, so I'm even more excited.
I feel like I've been in a bit of a funk lately, and I don't really understand it. I can't pinpoint exactly what's bothering me, other than I feel like I'm not 'enough'. I'm not educated enough, not smart enough, just not 'enough'. The last thing I want to do is wallow in it, but right now, it seems like all I can do is just try to figure out why I feel this way.
The transmission in my car went out Wednesday ( no reverse )
So I guess I can still drive it. but god forbid I should have to back up.
Repair shop wants mega bucks to fix it. Fuck.
Been offered a 1/2 time teaching gig...so conflicted because on one hand it would be fun and I could set my schedule, but on the other hand being on a schedule makes me itchy...
I'm the president of the women's charity organization at church, and I do confess that I have a bad "why me" attitude about it sometimes. (Am I the only person who can visit the hospital on Friday night!?!? The only person who can lift furniture on Saturday morning?!? etc...) But on the other hand, I do get to witness acts of kindness and charity on a regular basis. Like last week I helped a lady get some supplies from our food pantry, and she sent me home with some donations "for the poor." Those warm moments get me through the really depressing times. Just trying to blow off some steam, bc I can't complain to my fellow parishioners!
Annoyed with a co-worker....me, "Hey, saw you made dinner last night". Them, "How did you see that?". Me, "You wrote it on Facebook and I'm friends with you." Them, "Oh, your only friends with my professional page, not my personal one, you must have seen it through Another Co-worker....I'll have to change my permissions on what people can see."
Really - it was a pretty innocuous comment on my part, and what I saw on facebook was nothing. When I said that too him, he said, "Oh, you didn't see the follow-up." Fine...I don't want to be friends with you anyway!
god, i wish i could leap like that and not hurt myself or others.
gah! having a email discussion with a relative today about the video that recently was put up on youtube by a group called Special Operations (OPSEC) Political Committee. C'mon. Really? A political committee puts together a video that is all about "the truth"? Wake up and smell the roses.
This is a minor complaint, but its bothering me.
Soooo, the Pennsylvania Supreme court upheld a Voter ID law. Which is crap. Which means that a lot of people (poor,old, young) are probably not going to vote because they're unsure of if they have the right ID. So, all these people on FB, who are like-minded, are bitching about how the law is wrong. But I know most of them aren't doing a thing about it. I called and set up a volunteer session with the Committee of 70 (a non-partisan election commission). I'm not looking for a gold medal, I want to help change things.
My complaint is that just because you bitch about it on FB, that does not mean that things will get better! Go out there and help! Call your senators, congressmen (state and federal) and tell them why you're upset!
Ok. Rant over. Thanks for listening. (Also, if you need help finding your senator and congressman's info, let me know. I know where to find all of them. I also promise to not throw things at them that may hurt them. Just Nerf balls, and my shoe.)
So Monday is my ex's 50th birthday. He is estranged from his family but still keeps in touch with me and his two daughters (barely). It is the end of season soccer tournament for my girls this weekend. A week ago, I texted him and said, "Hey, you have a big birthday coming up. The girls want to know if you'd like to come over Friday for a bbq, and go watch them play soccer on Saturday." He responded a day or so later with "Sounds like a plan. Touch base with you soon." And I haven't heard a thing since. It breaks my heart how cavalier he is with the emotions of my girls. My confession? Even though it would make my girls very happy to have him over, I'm kinda glad he hasn't responded. I really don't want him at soccer. It would spoil it for me. I am very petty.
What a nighmarish few days. Almost exactly two years ago, I moved to a very small town in the south from a big city in the northeast, and gave up my family, friends, home, job, lifestyle ....everything...to be with the "love of my life" . As of 5 pm Tuesday, I found out he was cheating on me with sleazy, skanky craigslist "casual encounters" whores. When confronted, he admitted it. I dont' know how long it's been going on, but he cheated on his ex-wife so I shouldn't have thought it wouldn't happen to me. Leopard. Spots.
I managed to pack up my entire life in the span of 24 hours, get a car transport to take my car across the country, and get myself on a plane back HOME. Oh yeah, I had to call the police and sherriff bc he wouldn't stop harassing me and verbally abusing me, insinuating that his cheating was somehow MY fault. At least the cops convinced him to leave the house for a few hours so I could pack. Now I have to get myself tested for every disease possible because when I questioned him about this, he was silent. I jjust pray he didn't give me HIV/AIDS. Please pray for me. I wouldn't have been able to do all that I had to do to get myself out of there quickly and safely without the support of my sister and my girlfriends who kept calling and texting with encouragement and guidance. They helped me keep it together and focused on the necessary task... and the neighbor, who I barely know, who took me to the airport 2+ hours away, with her 3 toddlers in the car. I am so grateful to all of them. Now I'm home and can fall apart, deal with all the emotions that are now flooding my brain, and begin to sort this all out. Oh yeah, he keeps textng and emailing me that he loves me, and is sorry, and asks if we can work this out! Delusional.
Thanks for listening Derfs. I really need to vent right now. I need all the support I can get at the moment.
Hope you all have a wonderful weeekend.
What a nighmarish few days. Almost exactly two years ago, I moved to a very small town in the south from a big city in the northeast, and gave up my family, friends, home, job, lifestyle ....everything...to be with the "love of my life" . As of 5 pm Tuesday, I found out he was cheating on me with sleazy, skanky craigslist "casual encounters" whores. When confronted, he admitted it. I dont' know how long it's been going on, but he cheated on his ex-wife so I shouldn't have thought it wouldn't happen to me. Leopard. Spots.
I managed to pack up my entire life in the span of 24 hours, get a car transport to take my car across the country, and get myself on a plane back HOME. Oh yeah, I had to call the police and sherriff bc he wouldn't stop harassing me and verbally abusing me, insinuating that his cheating was somehow MY fault. At least the cops convinced him to leave the house for a few hours so I could pack. Now I have to get myself tested for every disease possible because when I questioned him about this, he was silent. I jjust pray he didn't give me HIV/AIDS. Please pray for me. I wouldn't have been able to do all that I had to do to get myself out of there quickly and safely without the support of my sister and my girlfriends who kept calling and texting with encouragement and guidance. They helped me keep it together and focused on the necessary task... and the neighbor, who I barely know, who took me to the airport 2+ hours away, with her 3 toddlers in the car. I am so grateful to all of them. Now I'm home and can fall apart, deal with all the emotions that are now flooding my brain, and begin to sort this all out. Oh yeah, he keeps textng and emailing me that he loves me, and is sorry, and asks if we can work this out! Delusional.
Thanks for listening Derfs. I really need to vent right now. I need all the support I can get at the moment.
Hope you all have a wonderful weeekend.
We might have to move our 27 year old down to Florida to live with us for a while. We're worried about him. He works so hard and life has dealt him some real crap this year. I'm worried that he is depressed and so far away.
The University says they're cutting off my daughter's financial aid. She is over on credits because she changed her major. We might have to shell out tuition money for Fall semester while she appeals the decision.
This isn't even a rant because I'll do all this gladly, but we are probably cancelling our Annual Wedding Anniversary Vacation. About 2% of me is disappointed. Maybe we can go later in the year.
This IS my rant....HOLY SHIT! The Republicans want to make elderly people with no driver's licenses get an ID card to vote, cut school lunches for poor kids and make seniors get a freaking COUPON to shop for medical coverage?????
NOT good for my blood pressure and I can't understand my in-laws love of the Romney-Ryan ticket.
What happened to taking care of the less fortunate. I was raised to believe that part of living in this world with "enough" is to help those that have trouble scraping together "enough".
Arli- you're doing the right thing. I'm glad you have such good people surrounding you. I wish you were near me, I'd hug you and get you out of there. (Also, I would use my other shoe to throw at his head. That what my shoes are for: throwing them at congress and bad exes.) (I hope that made you smile. You need one.....)
@Arli - you handled yourself beautifully. Please check out survivinginfidelity.com for a supportive community of people who know what you are going through. I wish I didn't know, but I do. Please do get yourself checked ASAP. Hugs to you!
Arli - Thinking of you. I've been in a somewhat similar situation and I'm so impressed with how you got the things that needed to be done, done. Treat yourself kindly, lean on your friends, they will help you through it. When I was going through the shell-shocked time after he walked out, a friend said something to me that I've never forgotten: "When one door closes, another one opens, but the time you spend in the hallway REALLY sucks." I'm hoping your time in the hallway is short and that your tests come back negative.
P.S. And seven years after being left, I am a much happier, more confident person than I was during my marriage. You will bounce back.
Arli, thinking of you. Hopefully your tests are all clean!!
Arli - good luck. How brave and smart you were to act so quickly and definitely. You're well rid of him. Now be kind to yourself and look to the future.
My co-workers and I are working on a project and we are having to work with a truly unreasonable person from another organization.
A very professional music promoter is bringing a concert to our event facility. The type of concert it is represents some measure of heightened security, mostly for reasons of perception, not actual peril. We dutifully informed Police and Fire and encouraged their participation at the level they normally participate for this.
Unfortunately, there is an individual at Police & Fire who somehow thinks this concert - whose audience mostly consists of 18 year old girls with fuzzy animal backpacks - will be a RAVE and that somehow people will DIE. He's requiring the promoter to overstaff the show with a totally unprecedented number of officers, and it will cost a fortune. Can you imagine requiring a HAZMAT Command vehicle to be stationed outside a concert venue?
The promoter has a 14 year history of safely managing actual RAVES, a record of no bad incidents, we've worked with them before and their security company is also one of the best in the business. This is a 4 hour CONCERT in a closed building, not a RAVE outdoors in a field overnight.
Honestly, I think that Police & Fire were trying to scare the promoter away, but he called their bluff. Now they are saying those estimates were the "floor" in the negotiation, not the "worst case scenario" that they look to be.
I seriously think this one individual must be surfing the internet with a drink by his side, gathering RAVE horror stories and freaking out. Each time he enters the conversation, he changes his requirements, and then complains that no one will comply with them.
And one thing I've learned over 20 years of event production - you can't argue with Police and Fire. You have to be very deferential and never EVER make it sound like they don't know what they're talking about - even when it's obvious.
Arli, you kick ass, woman. Your strength and resourcefulness in getting out of that situation like a bat out of hell make me positive you will get through this. I admire you.
Hugs Galore, derfs!
Arli - Good job. It is one thing to realize you are in a bad situation, but another altogether to ACT NOW, and get the hell out of dodge. Again, good job and I really hope every test comes back clean. And the round after that.
Everything here is good. Only downside, I am not making any money right now. I know things are always up and down in the arts, and this is a slump after a pretty decent spring, but I really hate not contributing. I had a little birthday meltdown that consisted of me crying that this is not where I intended to be professionally at 35, that damn it, just because this is where things are does not mean I didn't have larger ambitions! I dreamed big, and then put lots on hold to be the mother I needed to be. And being the mother I needed to be of a child with autism meant not a lot of ladder climbing, no 401k's, no big payoff. And the little fear inside is that it is hard to play catch up now.
So I am simultaneously squelching the fear by working on some advertising, professional deveolpment, all the stuff that when I am busy gets left behind. And taking joy in taking care of my household, cooking, finishing projects, garden work, getting caught up on cleaning and sorting and organizing.
And showing gratitude for a husband that makes any of it financial feasible.
Have a great week derfs.
Oh, Aunt Snow, how I understand what you're going through. My husband is currently working with the RNC, Secret Security, Fire, Police, the other city departments, and the Grinch Who Stole Christmas because the Republican National Convention is coming to our fair city. I hope we are all in one piece when they leave.
Arli, you have friends here. You are brave and strong and we're all rooting for you.
I have a laundry list of stress and anxiety but I decided to scrub my grody kitchen floor, speed clean the house, and try to channel my lovely little grandma who used to say, "Honey, everything always turns out okay in the end."
Hang in there everyone....everything always turns out okay in the end. Grandma said so.
"Everything always turns out okay in the end. Grandma says so"
I think we have a new tshirt.
Enjoy that clean floor, Claudia.
Molly, we are having parallel weeks. I had an "I'm 46 years old and never expected that this would be my life/career" breakdown last week. I'm pretty sure my husband was trying to decide whether he should take me to the hospital for the heart attack I was going to induce or directly to the looney bin. Life in the arts (I'm a musician) is rough right now. Almost everyone I know is struggling. Here's hoping we all make it to a better place sooner rather than later.
Oh, Claudia, that must be fun for your husband! (sarcasm) Secret Service is always fun to work with! So you're in Tampa? My MIL lives in Tampa.
My BIL is in the arts, and you are right, times are tough. Especially in Florida. What kind of music do you work in?
I hope you are all right.
I hate when we are simultaneously commenting. My joke about the t-shirt was posted between some legitimate concerns.
Claudia, Molly, Aunt Snow, I hope things pick up in arts and that money flows in all your directions. You are three incredibly talented women.
Arli, I'm so impressed with your strength and conviction. You are going to be just fine. thank goodness we live in a time where we can block them from our phones and emails----do yourself a favor and distance yourself electronically from him for some much needed healing time. His track record does not bode well for any change in him.
Arli- you are so doing the right thing- get thee behind me ... life will be so much better for you!
Thinking of you all as your week goes by.
I am bummed because the kids had an animal emergency and can not come see us.
I feel old and lonely and I don't want to be that person- I am going out right now and look for unicorns ....
Les- sounds like you have what MJ and AJ have- how can you get that through FB?
Meeting the Boyfriend! I hope you love him!
my rant is trivial and hugely uncharitable. I'm having a really hard time supporting a friend who recently had gastric bypass. She's been struggling with her weight for years, but whenever we tried to do something about it (walking, eating better) she'd totally flake out on me. Now she's had this huge surgery, and needs support. But the whole thing is making me crazy. It boils down to: in four months she's going to be eating up to 1500 calories a day and she's going to the gym now. WTF!?!?!? Why did it take $50,000 worth of surgery to make that happen? I lost 35 pounds doing the same thing -- without the life-threatening surgery. Our culture is so fucked up. *sigh*
@Arli: a nightmare indeed, but you had the amazing strength and courage to get out of that awful situation. Yes, it takes time to deal with it all, but I have no doubt you're going to be fine in the long run. You go, girl.
@Meredith: I don't know if you're becoming "that person", but it sounds more like you know that you have to take your joys where you can find them, or look for them. So much of what we stress over is, in the long term, small stuff.
Without going into detail, because it's not worth the effort to type it out, I had another load of problems show up this week. One of the stupid annoying problems was that my brand of foundation was discontinued - a brand, I might add, I specifically started using because it WAS readily available. So I ended up in Sephora looking for a new product (I'm very picky), and even though I'm not quite sure how, I ended up at their Make Up Bar being done over by one of their artists.
I've never had my make up done before. Not even for my wedding - I did my own. While my logical side knew that all the remarks of "you look great" and "this brings out your eyes" and "never let anyone touch your brows - and don't do anything but clean up the stray hairs because they're great as they are" were meant to sell me expensive product, it was a soothing balm to my worn out and bruised ego. That's my confession - I told my logical side to shut up and I ate it up because it felt so nice to be fussed over a little for a change.
Yeah, I bought some stuff, but still am not sure about the foundation :).
Meredith, you are not that person--you're just having a week.
TC, good for you for pampering yourself.
Rant on!
thanks H-and TC- I just went out for a bit and had a beer and talked with some friends. It was just enough to raise my unicorn level and bring things back around to the its okay level.
I just miss those kids- we live too far away from one another.
But! I am sitting here in my Hugs galore tee and life is good.
ilyanna- my SIL had the surgery and my Mom just talks about how good she has done on her diet- don't get me wrong- some folks really need this. I had another friend who had to have it because of a blotched surgery and it is life changing for him.
Anyway- life is good... checking out some rainbows and butterflies soon.
Meridith, see. Time takes care of everything. However, missing our kids is one of the worse things about growing older isn't it?
Today is the one year anniversary of my cousin's sudden death. We grew up like sisters but drifted apart in recent years. I can't forgive myself for letting so much distance grow between us, she was one of the few people who truly knew me and I miss her terribly.
So sorry, Windy. When they are gone, we can't call them back. Do something lovely in her memory - and hold close to the others that you care for who are still here.
Years ago, when I was completely frustrated, I thought I should host a site. It would be: Ihatemyhusband.com. I never really meant it (the hate part), but every once in a while, I utter "dot com" under my breath. It is a bit liberating.
Arli: I love that you made a decision, made a plan and stuck to it. You are amazing. Yes, I will pray you did not contract a disease of any kind. I'm so glad you had your sisters and friend. Kudos to your neighbor. She must be an amazing woman. As are you.
A radiantly beautiful woman died last night. She walked wrists-forward, like a nine year old girl, her whole life. She made the best tuna fish sandwiches ever. She bought all the mismatched and chipped teacups at Goodwill because she couldn't bear the thought of them being alone and unwanted. And she wrote like this:
On the Edge of the Garden
One daughter says
her son was conceived
when her family bus,
painted with balloons,
stalled in a piney forest
on Grand Canyon’s north rim.
I’m just as sure she happened
with my single trial
of the rhythm method.
Another daughter is convinced
her daughter came into being
at our lakeside cabin.
I believe, years before,
my son did too,
when moonlight bled through
the chinks in the shingles.
Like an astronaut on the surface
of the moon, a sperm
jumps into the egg,
an event so momentous it sets off
bells and cheers. How else
could a woman be so sure?
Even my mother
told me she moved with Dad
into a tent one summer
on the edge of the garden.
There, away from Grandpa
and his nightmares,
amid pease blossoms
and corn tassels,
they began my life.
Virginia Corrie-Cozart
I love this blog and I don't mean this in egotistical/my blawg is so fantastic manner. I mean it in an it gives me sustenance kind of way.
Mrs. G., I know exactly what you mean because it does the same thing for each of us.
Anon (obv.) you just made me smile.
Sungmanitu, that is incredibly gorgeous poetry. I am yearning to read more, more... and it makes me extra sorry for your loss.♥
Arli, you are an amazing woman. I mean it, truly, you are AMAZING. I'm pretty sure the entire Colony is giving you a standing ovation... and praying for you, each in her own way.
Jenny in NC, and Kelley, and ALL who need this reminder: "You is kind. You is smart. You is important."