Full Confessional Friday!

New Year greeting card

Be it Venial or Mortal (there's no escaping Original), we've all got secrets -- light, dark, funny, sad -- worth bringing to light. The act of confession can be liberating, mollifying and entertaining. Contrition? Repentance? A shot of Tequila? That's your call, sister.

Photo: Williamsburg Post Card Company, New York, circa 1920

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Reader Comments (52)

I confess many things today: a) I am no fan of winter or snow and
b) I miss Christmas! and
c) I have been following my dog and cat around with the camera which is not unusual but the wife unintentionally got me into blogging DOG SHAMING which I am thinking could also become CAT SHAMING and
d) reminds me that they could follow ME around around and remind me of my imperfections and lastly,
e) Suburban Corr. and Mrs. G still need to provide me with a mailing address for the bowl she won.... :)

January 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGary Rith

My early morning confession is that although I am very grateful to have a job (finally!), I really hate it. Geriatric care is not what I want to be doing. Not to mention the ladies I work with are starting to show their true colors and they are just catty and mean. I've had 3 girls tell me to watch my back around so and so. Or they tell me to trust no one. Even a supervisor told me that people are very quick to throw someone under the bus if needed. Really??? There's enough bad shit in this world, why bring this kind of negativity to work?!?! So the job search continues. I have an interview this morning at CASA. Hopefully, it will go well.

Anywho, happy weekend to all you Derfs!!! Sending warm hugs to all of you!!!!

January 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBecky in Upstate NY

Gary, treat yourself to this!

Becky, so to hear you're working with a bunch of piranhas. There's some of that jr.high nonsense where I work and it makes me nuts. Good luck with the CASA interview!

I've got nothing to confess so far. It's early though, so that could change. TGIF, Derfs!

January 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKelley

I confess that I am super excited that a certain son of a certain Derfwad is coming for the weekend. He's one of those kids you don't really want to give back!

I have a yea! , in that my DH thinks it would be a good deal for me to go to a church conference (It's really only a one night and one day thing) that I want to go to - As the timing involves some rearranging of family life, I'm grateful he sees it as important.

I have a blech in that I realize more and more that my job is really just that - a job- and while I'm happy there, and thankful for all the opportunities, and the flexibility, it's not what I want to spend 20 years doing. Maybe that will change over the course of the year. One of my good friends said yesterday "Church work is really your passion, isn't it?" And I had to say yes. That is (specifically working with children's stuff) what I like to do. So eventually that will come around.

January 4, 2013 | Unregistered Commenternavhelowife

Friday! It's FRIDAY!!! YIPPEEE....happy dance...happy dance. That is all.

January 4, 2013 | Unregistered Commenter1Les

I am feeling paralyzed about my job search. I procrastinate, I am in denial, I am not following up on leads. Why? The clock is ticking and I will be out of a job in six months.

January 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAunt Snow

i just hope everyone has a good year. last year was utter shit for me (and a lot of other people i know).

also? i miss my puppy. he died the Wednesday before Christmas. still waiting for the first day with no crying.

January 4, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterfalnfenix

Fainfenix, oh gosh, how terrible. Best wishes to you and sorry about your puppy.

January 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGary Rith

thanks, Gary. it was a good 8 months. he would have left us soon, anyway - genetic defects suck like that. still, he was the perfect first dog. he got me over my fears of dogs in the time we had him, and i now consider myself a dog person (and a doberman addict...god was that dog smart...).

still. i'll always miss him.

January 4, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterfalnfenix

I have had a virus since December 26!!!! I have gone through 3 gigantic boxes of Kleenex and I haven't gone out of the house for a week.
I am showering and getting dressed everyday, however. If my husband wasn't here I probably wouldn't be eating. What gets me is, I had my flu shot, but Dr. Says this isnt the flu but some other virus and a sinus infection. I am sick of being sick. I know it will go away, but I really am tired of it. Thank heavens I don't have to go to work.
And Gary, if you miss Christmas come on over. My decorations are still up, thankfully my tree is artificial. I think I have until January 6th to get it down, after that I'll be considered the crazy lady with her Christmas tree still up. Oh well, maybe tomorrow.

January 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterALBUG

I confess to having impure thoughts while watching an interview on the news this morning--Clay Matthews makes me swoony.

January 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGreen Girl in WIsconsin

This is more of a whine than a confession.

I am sick. I have been sick for over four weeks now with some horrible GI issues and we still don't know for sure what is going on. My kids are having to fend for themselves much of the time with me overseeing from the couch. I homeschool my daughter and she's now had four weeks off and I'm going to have to figure out how to make up some of that time. My husband has been wonderful and my mother, who cannot always be counted on, is really coming through this weekend and is taking the kids for the weekend so that I can do nothing but rest. I'm so weak that going down to the basement to put wood on the fire or to get something from the freezer nearly kills me. I feel very pathetic and whiny and I hate it but this has totally consumed my life. My house is a disaster, The kids are living primarily off of toast and yogurt and pb sandwiches and then whatever I might be able to summon the strength to feed them at night. Last night it was Trader Joe's box mac and cheese and broccoli. The sad part is that they think this is a way better dinner than half the time when I'm feeling well and cook them real food. I just want to feel better. I want to be able to leave the house without calculating how far it is to the next bathroom. I want to be able to eat solid foods. I want to be truly hungry again. I don't want to have to keep cancelling activities because I simply cannot go because of how sick I am. Monday we run through a bunch of new tests. the ones I took a few weeks ago all came back normal so now it's time to dig deeper. I know that when this is all over and I'm feeling better my husband deserves some time to himself. He has been working full time and coming home and picking up the slack here without a hint of complaint. He hasn't had any time off in a month either. But I'll be honest here, I kinda feel like I'm going to deserve some time too because I don't think time to yourself while feeling like you're on your deathbed really counts.

January 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHeather in Oregon

Those of you who are battling illness -- healthy thoughts coming your way, hopefully with healing on their wings!

ALBUG, thank you for still having your Christmas tree. Me, too! And although it made me cry 2 days ago, I actually enjoyed turning on the lights on this dark morning and stopped to admire a few ornaments. I'm drinking coffee from my Glühwein mug, purchased at my very first German Christmas market. It was one week before boy#3 was born... the same kid who walked out the door in a suit and tie this morning. *sigh*

My 20yo is job-shadowing today. I'm nervous, because he is somewhat social inept (undiagnosed Asperger's) and this is an opportunity we set up with an old acquaintance. They only talked briefly and this man probably has no idea what he is in for today.

January 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKaren (formerly kcinnova)

I confess to calling my husband a fucking asshole as I stomped outside to start the car this morning. Then I went inside and threw his pillow on the floor and stomped on that too. Then I started to laugh. I guess if that's the worst thing that happens to me today then I'm doing okay. Happy weekend everyone!

January 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKristin H

Oh, heather in Oregon, I hope they diagnose your illness soon. I went through some GI issues last spring, and after all was said and done, I'm on the other side of it and things are fine. I hope it works out that way for you too. I had a lot of Derf support at the time, too - for which I'm grateful.

January 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAunt Snow

Oh Heather in Oregon, I hope you find out what is causing this.

January 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSmalltown Me

Crap... I wanted to vent and confess today and as I typed up my post, I realized that I couldn't do it without revealing too much information and creating the possibility of completely offending my family if they were to stumble across this. Now I am more frustrated! Basically, I have learned the hard way that family and money don't mix well. I feel that my husband and I are being taking advantage of by a family member and everyone else sits back and expects us to let it continue. I am sick of it and want it to end but see no way to do it without completely alienating the family involved and us looking like complete asses. If we actually make decisions/changes to the situation based on our needs we will be the bad guys. Errr. To sum it up, the lesson learned from my current situation is that "no good deed goes unpunished". It's making me sick to my stomach and I want to scream. But I have to admit, typing this out aggressively on my keyboard sure feels good!

January 4, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteranon today

my confession is that I've been losing weight -- which is good. But now my husband has decided that HE's going to lose weight too. Which is also good. But he is so damned braggity braggy about it, telling me "Well, TODAY, I lifted weights for 30 minutes, and then did 20 minutes of cardio! Now I have to drink my water! LALALA! SO THERE! I"M SO FUCKING WONDERFUL! PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEE! ADmire MEEE~"

Whoops. Maybe I'm a bit annoyed? The thing is, he's massively overweight . Like maybe 300+. And I'm no Twiggy but I'm not THAT fat. I could stand to lose maybe 50 pounds if I really wanted to get to a goal weight. But I'm already down nearly 9 of those 50. I just HATE that "Pay attention to meeeee" way of talking. I'm trying to get a grip and say, "Oh, my! How IMPRESSIVE!" or something when he starts doing that. I'm trying to mean it. But ... yuck.
I want to scream, "JUST SHUT THE HELL UP AND DO IT, DUMBASS!" because that's the way *I* do it. I rarely brag about how much time I've spent on the damned elliptical or how much water I've drunk, or how many kilos I can benchpress. AUGH.

I should be glad taht he's trying to get healthy. I am just sick up to my tits with his pompous "Well, I'll just do this EVERY DAY for an HOUR, and that'll be GREAT, right???" And then he drops it 4 days later and I never mention it because I'm not a total beeyotch Or am I?? I don't know. I just want to lose weight in peace, and not have to listen to him crowing about how awesome he is.

Help me!!

January 4, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteranonymous4

Today marks 1 week since I left my old company and started a new one with a partner! I'm so busy/happy/grateful.....and I can't knock this damned grin off my face!!!! Scary? mildly so....especially as the bread-winner in my household but I'm ok!!!!

January 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDiane Carol

I've been doing well post-sudden-separation, but I had a bad night last night when I saw evidence on Facebook that he spent NY Eve with her and a friend drinking like they were back in college, while I sat on my couch and refereed two little boys playing Mario Cart. I don't want to go back to college days, but how come I am the only one having be a grown up here?

January 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBecca

Becca and Anonymous 4: all men are utter sh!ts* and I don't know why any of you put up with us.
*(Except for me and Clooney)

January 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGary Rith

anon today
I understand your pain. We finally had to tell them we couldn't help them any more. We are at retirement age and we have to start thinking about ourselves. Tell them to find someone to help them with a budget. Two of our family members aren't speaking to us for now.
Somehow they always had money to do what they wanted, just not pay their bills. The other one is using a budget, lowered their credit card bills and are trying really hard to get their finances straightened out. So proud! Sometimes you have to do what is best for you and your husband. Your health is suffering from the stress. Hope this helps.

January 4, 2013 | Unregistered Commentercarolyn

Maybe not ALL men are shits, but my soon-to-be-ex-husband? Absolute. In fact, I truly think he is a psychopath. He's making such a song and dance out of his going to AA, all 'But I am completely wonderful now! So we must get back together!' As if his alcoholism is the only problem, and as if I would be insane enough to get back together with such a manipulative, self-centred, violent, hateful, lying, nasty bastard.

There. Yes, I HAVE had a trying few days.

January 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNan

First world problems, but still... I got up the gumption to return/exchange ill-fitting Christmas gifts to the mall today and next year, I think I'll just keep whatever doesn't fit. The store that rhymes with The Slap would only give me a store credit MAILED to my house ten days from now, because my sweet s-i-l forgot to include a gift receipt. That took every bit of incentive I might have had to shop their sale, completely away. Then, in Foldwater Freak, after trying on a different size blouse, I had to explain to the very helpful, very inquisitive salesperson standing guard outside the dressing room, that even though I liked it, and it technically fit, that the darts meant to tailor it to my bust, actually hit about four inches below my bust in real life. She said, "Oh..." Haha.

January 4, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersusan

Ugh, Nan. Stand strong.

January 4, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersusan

Oh Nan honey, I was down yr way today doing back to school shopping at "Fraggle Rock", wish I had called now. Do you fancy meeting somewhen to say rude things about his sorry self?

January 4, 2013 | Unregistered Commentertrash

Becca..i was you 20+ yrs frustrating as it is YOU are where you needed to be and it bet it was WAY more fun. You just put another great memory in your kids basket...keep going and keep doing the right thing for those darlings! Hugs!

January 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDiane. Carol

@Heather in Oregon - I'm perfectly healthy (knock wood), yet my kids have done no schoolwork in at least 2 weeks because of the holidays. No, 3 weeks. So, on that count at least, you aren't that far behind. Don't know if that helps, but it's all I've got. Your kids are learning that sometimes life has to be put on hold, and your husband is setting a great example for them on how sometimes, in married life, you have to give more than 100%. Here's hoping you discover soon what's wrong - as soon as you start feeling a bit better, things won't seem so overwhelming.

January 4, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersuburbancorrespondent

Big hugs to everyone out here who needs one! My confession is really a issue that has been bugging me about myself. I get told at least once a month that I should/must/need to write books and I would love to do so...but I just cannot do it. I have the content and the passion. I can sit with friends and share my life in words but every single time I try to put any of it down on real or virtual paper, it's flat. Dead. Blah. <sigh> I feel guilty and sad that I don't make a more dedicated, serious effort to write these books even though I spend night after night writing them in my dreams and mind. G-Man even bought me a recorder to carry in car so I could 'talk' them into being. My friends have more faith in me than I do in myself. (Great fear here) Today, my current boss and former boss actually argued over which one of them should get the "first" copy of my first book...because they both believe I can and should do it. I feel guilty and pressured because my family and friends constantly encourage me to "finally, write those books". And I can't let them out. Other than that, it has been a good first week of the year. Happy weekend all, meak

January 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMainely Alaskan

Yesterday from my husband "Well, we survived the holidays and you only threatened to get your own apartment once."

I corrected him (gently) that I didn't threaten, I just confessed it as a fantasy when too much ex-spouse and teenage kids drama is going on and I work at home. All day. Every day. With a big deadline.

But we made it, and my daughter is back home after two weeks at her Dad's, and my world is back together again.

Wishing you all health and balance. Heather in Oregon, I am truly sorry you are suffering, I have only experienced a fraction of what you are going through, and I sympathize. Get better soon.

January 4, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermolly

Huge influenza outbreak going on here. Washing my hands so often, they are already cracked and bleeding... Other than that, life is good, as long as I don't get the flu!

January 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSewSew

I have worked in a state government job for 3 years, starting from entry level and promoted twice in that time. But it hasn't been fulfilling and fun like it was a year ago. My supervisor has been miserable for the last year and although I really like working with him, his complaining has worn me down.

I applied for a grant coordinator position just before Christmas, kind of last-minute before the position closed. Got called for an interview the next Monday, right before Christmas. Had a second interview yesterday and was offered the job this morning!

I'm so stinking excited! I rocked the two interviews - cool, calm and collected. I haven't ever been like that! And I had great support from my co-workers who wrote me fantastic letters of recommendation. It's great to be in control of the situation and go out to find a way to make it better. I'm really proud of myself and I don't feel that very often.

I hope those of you who are ill get better soon. And hugs to those of you who are in difficult relationships. Hang in there.

January 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTina C

I love it here in TWC.

I don't have much of anything to add to the conversation, but after reading everyone's comments tonight, I feel like I just left a much-needed Friday night 'girl's (and Gary) night out' after a long (short) week. Great part is that I'm already at home and don't have to drive in the cold! Thanks everyone!!

We had a nice Christmas, quite New Year, fine weather, and I'm totally exhausted and wanting it to be Spring anyway!

Love in Derfdom....

January 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterChristy Lee

Cpngrats, Tina C!! what a great Christmas present for you!

I just spent two days training a really great temp Admin Ass't to work for my dying department, and yesterday at the end of the day she received an email from another department saying she was on the short list for a permanent job! Yikes. Good for her, but sucks to be my department!

January 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAunt Snow

Aunt Snow, I think of you often. I understand the paralyzation (is that a word?) in getting moving on job applications. Sometimes you have to take a break for the sake of your sanity.
I finally submitted a resume this week for an entry-level, part-time job. I'm fully qualified and have an "in" for a reference, but of course have heard nothing.

January 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKaren (formerly kcinnova)

Wonderful news, Tina C! Congratulations!

January 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKaren (formerly kcinnova)

I am LOVING having a certain young houseguest. He and my youngest are like two peas in a pod. He leaves tomorrow, unless I can find a way to hide him (KIDDING).

I am also totally homesick for Virginia.

January 5, 2013 | Unregistered Commenternavhelowife

Thanks, peeps. And I'll message you Trash! It'll be okay, he is seldom in the same country so most of the time it's just background buzz. He just gets a bee in his bonnet sometimes and goes all manic and demanding. I'm being safe. XX

January 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNan

Diane Carol, YOU DID IT! Wow! That is a huge step and it's incredible that you actually did it! Best wishes as you move forward in your newly formed company. You are one amazing and brave woman! ♥ Keep that smile going -- loving your job is a wonderful gift.

January 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKaren (formerly kcinnova)

@ Diane

It takes a huge leap of faith to begin a new endeavor. Huge!


January 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterUse Wisdom

When I don't know what to do with myself, I come here. And sit.

January 6, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteranon

My confession ... Downton Abbey....tonight... Yeah!

January 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterALBUG

Hey anon:
Come here, sit, and maybe start a conversation on Derf Assist List.

January 6, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkate in MI

How did I miss this on Friday? Probably because, like so many of you, I am still sick with the plague. This is getting really, f-ing old. Hang in there everyone.

It's exhausting being the only sane one between my mother, brother, and sister. Perhaps if I was as messed up as them one of them would give two flying figs about my issues....

January 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJessie - a different one

I hear ya jesse - a different one, boy do I. But tell us. We are mostly not crazy and would happily listen.

January 7, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermolly

Congratulations Diane on your new business. May it and that grin bring many years of success and happiness!

January 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDorrie

So I leaned over today and the underwire snapped in my bra. One half that is. It's not a monobra.
It seems that they can only take soooo much pressure.
So I went to get changed.
I mean obviously the bra needed throwing away, it wasn't exactly new...but instead of throwing it in the bin I threw it in the washing basket. I stood there with it in my hands and could not put it in the bin.
Apparently I care if my bra's go into the landfill dirty.
Send help.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDeborah J

Deb J. I had an underwire mk a successful bid for freedom a few weeks back. Threw wire into recyce, washed bra and now wear it without shame.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered Commentertrash

Thanks, molly...I may later, but right now, the crazy upon crazy of my mom and sister is rearing its ugly head...and I just am trapped in the middle.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJessie - a different one

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