Homeschooling Tip of the Day

Need some inspiration for hands on science ideas? This is one of the best spots in town.

Hide And Seek

On Sunday Mrs. G. is hosting a retirement party for a fellow teacher who spent thirty-five years teaching in the Washington public schools. This friend is much loved and many co-workers, students, and parents want to come by and celebrate. There could be as many as fifty people in Mrs. G's house. This is her first big party...ever. She has been cleaning like a maniac. She also has been combing her house looking for damning evidence things she might not like her guests to be gossiping about at the water cooler on Monday to see. Mrs. G. is going to be honest and admit that, back in the day, when she went to a party, she would occasionally peek into a medicine cabinet to see who was on birth control. So the first things to go into the box covertly hidden in her garage were her

happy pills mood stabilizers. Mrs. G. has been diagnosed by a trained professional as moderately unstabilized. Into this same box, she placed

all battery operated machinery.

Mrs. G. also cleared out the shelf containing all of the journals she has kept since eighth grade. She couldn't bear the thought of one of her guests catching a glimpse of her high school prose:

Dear Diary,
 
Johnny Houston did not say "high" (ha ha) during third period. I was so bummed!!!!!!!!!!!! Today was not a good hair day and did I mention that I hate my GD mother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mrs. G. tucked this under the bathroom sink, because she doesn't want any of her friends' kids going home with a new vocabulary word. She wants to inspire children and keep them from finding out that her main hobbies outside of the workplace include bathing

and such.

Mrs. G, reluctantly, took down her Hot Priests calendar that her friend brought her from Italy. She suspects that some of her Catholic guests would not appreciate her fondness for men in uniform sense of humor. But, undoubtedly, Mrs. G. put the most effort in concealing her

classified documents.

Reader, what have you hidden when company's coming?

Slow Cook Thursday

Slow (sloh) adjective, -er, -est, adverb, -er, -est, : moving or proceeding with little or less than usual speed or velocity: a slow train; characterized by lack of speed

A poem and some crock pot and a few scarves....

Happiness

So early it's still dark out.
I'm near the window with coffee,
and the usual early morning stuff
that passes for thought.
When I see the boy and his friend
walking up the road
to deliver the newspaper.
They wear caps and sweaters,
and one boy has a bag over his shoulder.
They are so happy
they aren't saying anything, these boys.
I think if they could, they would take
each other's arm.
It's early in the morning,
and they are doing this thing together.
They come on, slowly.
The sky is taking on light,
though the moon still hangs over the water.
Such beauty that for a minute
death and ambition, even love,
doesn't enter into this.
Happiness. It comes on
unexpectedly. And goes beyond, really,
any early morning talk about it.

by Raymond Carver

Hot Spiced Sangria

2 bottles Rioja (Spanish red wine)
1 cup brandy
1 bag frozen cherries
1 bag frozen peaches
1 orange, sliced
2 cinnamon sticks
1 cup simple syrup, recipe follows
Orange peel, for garnish

Combine all ingredients in a slow cooker. Put setting on HIGH for 1 hour. Reduce to warm to hold temperature. Ladle into glasses from slow cooker. Be sure to include some fruit in the glasses.

Garnish with orange peel, slide into a hot bath and call it dinner.

Simple Syrup:
1 cup sugar
1 cup water
1 orange, zested

Combine the sugar, water and zest in a saucepan. Bring to a boil, reduce to a simmer. Stirring occasionally, simmer for 5 minutes or until sugar is dissolved. This is a Sara Lee recipe.

And Scarves...

Mrs. G. was overwhelmed by the warm responses of her fellow bloggers. She started this blog less than two months ago and, believe it or not, she has not told any of her family or friends about it (except for Mr. G.). She has depended on the kindness of strangers and she thanks you for your kind comments and many laughs...it is so much easier to write when you know a few people might show up. Last night, before heading out to beg for candy, Mrs. G's son and his two buddies pulled names out of a Trader Joes bag...three names just didn't cut it...six was just getting good...and Mrs. G. threw herself across the bag at twelve...then she ate nine Kit Kats and started knitting. Readers will be glad to know that Mrs. G. has several scarves in reserve. So woolen love and kindness will be sent to:

Urban Cowgirl, Irish Goddess, Fairlie, Wordgirl, Queenly Things, An Imperfect Life, BooksEtc., From the Frontlines, Daybook, Bay Side to Mountain Side, Molly Murphy and Bossy...does everybody know that Bossy has a new book available on Amazon, well she does...so buy it already.

Mrs. G. will e-mail everyone for their debit card numbers addresses over the weekend. She is in the process of switching Internet providers, so her e-mail service is out of commission until Friday.

Mrs. G's Secret Boyfriend #10

Disclaimer: Mrs. G. has been married for almost eighteen years to the same man, Mr G. He is handsome, kind, loyal, and doesn't do household chores of any kind is a wonderful father. Many, many people (some of whom do not reside at Derfwad Manor) believe he makes the best pasta sauce in the world. Period. He uses a secret ingredient, and he will not share it with anyone, because Mr. G. is Sicilian and that's just the way they are.

Mrs. G's heart is throbbing as she introduces Jon Stewart as her Secret Boyfriend #10. She says secret boyfriend because while her love and esteem for Jon is as sharp as his scalpel-like humor, he has no idea that Mrs. G. exists. Ahh...Mrs. G. thinks unrequited love is healthy in a long term marriage she wants to last.

Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz was born November 28th , 1962, in New York City. He grew up in Lawrence, New Jersey. In many interviews Jon has said that he was harassed mercilessly in high school, because he was the only Jewish kid in a school full of WASPS. Mrs. G. suspects that being in the high school band didn't win him any popularity points either. Jon played the French horn.

After working as a construction worker, caterer, busboy, shelf stocker and a breath-tester at an inflatable plastic water-toy factory, Jon tried his hand at stand-up comedy. A few years later, he went on to create and star in MTV's first talk show, The Jon Stewart Show. Despite having high ratings, second only to Beavis and Butthead, the show tanked lasted less than a year. In 1993, Jon was a finalist to replace David Letterman who was leaving NBC, but Conan O’Brien was hired instead. Conan is fine and he's a nice Irish Catholic boy and all, but Mrs. G. thinks Jon would have crushed this time slot.

No matter, because in 1999, Jon became the host of Comedy Central's The Daily Show, a satirical television show that mocks and pokes fun at George Bush politics. Under Jon's helm, The Daily Show has gone on to win two Peabody and ten Emmy awards. And Jon has become the most trusted man in fake news. Mrs. G. loves her some stinging wit and grey hair.

His mock history textbook America was one of the top fifteen bestselling books in 2004. Mrs. G. thinks it may be the only book where you can find pictures of the Supreme Court in the nude...it's not pretty, but Sandra Day O'Connor has a surprisingly nice rack.

This is Jon with his cropped out wife, Tracey McShane. He proposed to her by working with Will Shortz, the crossword editor at The New York Times, and together they created a puzzle that popped the question. Jon and his wife have a son and daughter and blah, blah, blah, blah....let's get back to the Secret Boyfriend part.

Jon is known for his slap downs repartee with media whores social critics like Ann Coulter. In a, now famous, interview with bow tied moronathon Tucker Carlson, Tucker busted Jon's chops for not being more genuine in his comedy show's news reporting. Jon responded that the media is in dismal shape if "...it is looking to Comedy Central for its cues on integrity." When Carlson continued to press Stewart on the issue, Stewart said, "You’re on CNN! The show that leads into me is puppets making crank phone calls! What is wrong with you?" When Carlson told Stewart he was not as funny in person as he was on his show, Stewart retorted, "You’re as big a dick on your show as you are on any show." Snap! Tucker recovered from this dressing down and later went on to humiliate himself on Dancing With The Stars...he was living proof that white boys can't dance.

On October 18, 2007, Stewart renewed his contract with Comedy Central and will continue with The Daily Show through 2010. He will also be hosting, for the second time, the 2008 Acadamy Award's Ceremony. Comedian, satirist, actor, writer, producer and all round funny, funny derfwad...is it any wonder that Jon Stewart is Mrs. G's Secret Boyfriend #10? He is absolutely the only man, besides Mr. G, who can keep her up after ten o'clock.

Slow Cook Thursday

Slow (sloh) adjective, -er, -est, adverb, -er, -est, : moving or proceeding with little or less than usual speed or velocity: a slow train; characterized by lack of speed

A poem and some crock pot...

Passing the Orange

On Halloween night
the new teacher gave a party
for the parents.
She lined up the women
on one side of the schoolroom,
the men on the other,
and they had a race,
passing an orange
under their chins along each line.
The women giggled like girls
and dropped their orange
before it got halfway
but it was the men's line
that we watched.
Who would have thought
that anyone could get them
to do such a thing?
Farmers in flannel shirts,
in blue overalls and striped overalls.
Stout men embracing one another.
Our fathers passing the orange,
passing the embrace-the kiss
of peace-complaining
about each other's whiskers,
becoming a team, winning a race.

by Leo Dangel

Cheddar Potato and Chive Soup

• 4 large potatoes, peeled and sliced
• 4 cups chicken stock, plus more as needed


• 1-2 cloves of garlic


• 1 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese, or a mixture of sharp cheddar and smoked gouda if your feeling more sophisticated.


• 1/4 cup chopped fresh chives...dried in a pinch


• Salt and freshly ground black pepper


• 1 cup heavy cream, half-and-half, whole milk or sour cream...Mrs. G. does not recommend low fat dairy products for this recipe...it would probably be more satisfying to just eat a carrot skip and skip dinner.


• 1/4 cup crumbled sharp cheddar cheese, for garnish

Preparation:

1. Place the potatoes, garlic and 1 cup of the stock in the slow cooker.


2. Cover and cook on high for 2 or so hours, or until the potatoes are just tender.


3. Mrs. G. just sticks her handy immersion blender into the crock pot and gives it a few whirls, but if you don't have one, you can transfer 2/3 of the potatoes to a food processor or blender, along with the cooking liquid, and blend to the desired consistency. Mrs. G. likes her texture a little chunky, but you do what you have to do in order to be happy...this is true for so many things in life, don't you think?
4. Return the potato purée to the slow cooker and stir in the shredded cheese, the remaining 2/3 cup stock, and the chives. Cover and cook on low for 30 minutes or so, or until the soup is well heated.


5. Add extra stock or water if the soup is too thick


6. Season with salt and pepper


7. Stir in the cream, half & half, whole milk or sour cream.


8. Ladle into soup bowls, sprinkle with the crumbled cheese, and serve immediately. Pat yourself on the back, baby, dinner is made.

It's Only Legal In Three States

This past weekend, after touring Reed College, Mrs. G. and her posse got together with the Portland Chapter of their extended family. Mrs. G's in-laws are Italian and there are a lot of them. So many, it can easily take a couple of years to get everyone together on the same night. Saturday was the night and the G. clan enjoyed an evening of family and food.

Lots and lots of food.

Mrs. G's son was re-introduced to his little 7-year-old cousin who he hadn't seen since she was a toddler. He thought she was cute and all, but she thought he was cute and all that. She liked him so much that she proceeded to shadow him for the entire night. She pretty much spent the whole evening trying to kiss him get his attention. After about the third hour of her animated chatter and undying devotion, he tried avoiding all eye contact.

But, as you can see, Reader, it didn't work. She was not easily dismissed.

Later on, with his little cousin draped across his back like a rhesus monkey, Mrs. G's son came up to her and whispered,  "I don't know how I'm going to break it to her that we're related."

Here's looking at you, Kid.

Homeschooling Tip of the Day

Mrs. G. and her kids spent a year working with this simple curriculum. The company describes it as: Hands-on, investigative, The Private Eye — using everyday objects, a jeweler's loupe, and simple questions — accelerates science, writing, art, math, social studies, and more. K-16 through life, The Private Eye develops "the interdisciplinary mind. You can find more fancy descriptions at the Private Eye website.

Mrs. G. will translate: this currriculum (it's really just a large workbook)offers a cool, hands-on way of looking at the world close up (with a jewelers loop and microscope) and using what you see to explore science, art, writing and social studies. In other words, it's a great big unit study.

You can buy their kits of cool things to look at, but Mrs. G. just bought the cheap magnifying boxes and her kids gathered their own neat stuff to look at...

bugs, pods, leaves, shells, berries, rocks, etc.

Always The Last To Know

Mrs. G. can't imagine Professor Minerva McGonagall's shock at discovering her secret boyfriend BFF Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore is gay. Oh sure, Minerva noticed Albus's sweeping colorful robes, braided silver hair, pinky ring and half-moon glasses, but she likely unwittingly assumed he was a confirmed bachelor eccentric and was swept up by his irresistible personality and dance skills.

How could she know when she risked her life and led Dumbledore's Army and members of the Order of the Phoenix in the fight against Voldemort, that Albus' heart really belonged to fellow wizard and boyhood friend Gellert Grendelwald? How could she know that Albus and Gellert dreamed of opening a flower shop in Diagon Alley ruling the world for the greater good? She couldn't. Minerva was blinded by love.

Albus and Minerva singing Karaoke in their younger days.

Alas, it was only with Albus Dumbledore that Minerva McGonagall, here at the Hogwart's Yule Ball, could unhinge her tight bun and let down her hair. J.K. Rowling said recently that Albus' failure to maintain an enduring homosexual relationship was his great tragedy. Whatever. Mrs. G. thinks Minerva got the wrong end of the stick.